Tag: Elders

Shrinking – Downsizing

Cookie Shares:

When my mom was cleaning out her house over 23 years ago to sell it, I wasn’t very sympathetic over her attachments to things. I would go over on weekends to help her and we would go through things, things for a yard sale, things to donate, things to throw away. I would usually get upset over how long it was taking her to decide. For instance, we were going through kitchen cabinets and she spent 20 minutes looking at an iron kettle with a lid. Finally I said,

“Mom, at this rate it is going to take us another 2 years.”

She told me that her mother used to make meals in that kettle and leave them at doorsteps of neighbors during the depression, mom would deliver them, and then they would reappear back to her with an apron, or a wood carving, something in return for the meal. I realized that everything that my mom was going through was really a reliving of her life.

If you are reading this and are under the age of 60, you wont get it. You haven’t lived long enough. Most of you have not had to move your parents into a nursing home, or emptied their home. You haven’t lived long enough to realize that the hours you spend picking out the right cabinets, or the perfect tile will not be what matters in the later years. It will be the handmade toothbrush holder, or a picture that you got on vacation.

So, if your parents are downsizing, and moving to smaller places, or selling a home, give your mom and even your dad a break. Those things that you don’t understand why they can’t just pitch, and why you think you know what needs to be tossed or saved, give them a little time to make their decisions. They are saying goodbye to their past, and realizing that they are getting ready for their end of life, while you are beginning your life.

As I have been going through things, its amazing just how hard it is to get rid of objects. But, life goes on, and you realize they are just things, but sometimes things comfort us. So give your parents or grandmparents a break. Listen to their stories, because in 40 years, when you are going through those boxes and the memories come back, it will be hard to get rid of those plastic champagne flutes that you and your late husband used at a New Years party 40 years ago. You will think nothing of the tile or the light fixtures that were so important then.

As happy as they are for you, and as much as they love you, you just don’t have a clue until it happens to you and then you will remember how you rushed them, and it will make you sad, especially if they are already gone and you cant say I’m sorry, I didn’t get it.

~ Original Post Melissa Vaughan

Pharma companies raise prices on over 900 drugs amid ‘historic’ negotiations

Drug companies raised prices on 910 name-brand drugs in January. The median price increase was 4.7%, the lowest increase in over a decade.
— Read on news.yahoo.com/pharma-companies-raise-prices-over-100300724.html

JAMA Internal Medicine study links food insecurity to shorter life expectancy – Washington Times

Financially strapped Americans lacking consistent access to adequate food and water are more likely to die prematurely and have shorter life expectancies at age 50, a study has found.
— Read on www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/jan/29/jama-internal-medicine-study-links-food-insecurity/

Conservatorship: The Racket That Ruined My Father’s Last Years – Mad In America

I have watched as my father’s pursuit of happiness was swept away by the court system in his senior years.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/12/conservatorship-the-racket-that-ruined-my-fathers-last-years/

Understaffed and neglected: How real estate investors reshaped assisted living facilities – The Washington Post

A woman’s death at a high-end Colorado home shows how a focus on profits in the $34 billion industry affects staffing and pay, endangering elderly residents.
— Read on www.washingtonpost.com/business/2023/12/17/assisted-living-industry-real-estate/

Aging

AGING….

You grow old, they told me, you are no longer you, you become distant, sad and lonely.

I didn’t answer…

I don’t get old, I get wise.

I stopped being what others like me to become, but what I like to be.

I stopped seeking the acceptance of others and accepted myself.

I have left behind the lying mirrors that deceive mercilessly.

– No, I’m not getting old.

I just become more selective with places, people, customs and ideologies.

I have let go of attachments, unnecessary pain, toxic people, sick souls and rotten hearts… bitterness and unhappiness are not for me, I release them for my health.

I’m ditching party nights for learning and embracing insomnia.

I stopped living stories and started writing them, I threw aside the imposed stereotypes.

I no longer carry eyeshadow in my bag, now I have a book that beautifies my mind.

I exchanged wine glasses for coffee cups, forgot to idealize life and started living it.

– No, I’m not getting old.

I carry freshness in my soul, innocence in my heart, and I discover myself daily.

I have in my hands the tenderness of a cocoon that, when opened, will spread its wings to other places unreachable for those who seek only the frivolity of the material.

I have that charming smile on my face when I observe the simplicity of nature.

I carry in my ears the chirping of the birds that delight me and accompany the walk.

– No, I’m not getting old.

I become selective, betting my time on the intangible, rewriting the story I’ve been told, rediscovering worlds, saving those old books I’ve forgotten half open.

I’m becoming more cautious, I’ve stopped the outbursts that teach me nothing, I’m learning to talk about transcendent things, I’m learning to cultivate knowledge, plant ideals and falsify my destiny.

– No, I’m not getting old.

I begin to live who I really am.

( ✍️ Bianka Luz )

Image : Alysanne Velaryon

Enriched

“The years have touched her only to enrich her; the flower of her youth had not faded; it only hung more quietly on its stem.”

Henry James – The Portrait of a Lady, 1880’s.

Miriam Escofet – An Angel at My Table (portrait of the artist’s mother), Winner of the BP Portrait Award 2018.

Owing of age

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is… ” I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it”.

I don’t have gray hair… I have “wisdom highlights”! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting Lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering… did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?