Tag: Children

An alienated child will often discard presents bought by the ‘target’ parent. They will post photos on social media of their aligned parent but never the alienated parent. It is as if they only have one parent and it is excruciating for the ‘target’ parent to see this. Much as they want to see what’s going on with their child, and they want to see them happy, their non-existence is painful. I know from personal experience. These behaviours can become learned. Even a child who has reunited with a previously rejected parent, will be wary of showing evidence of a good relationship (with both parents). They may still have lingering fears, conditioned responses, or a sense of loyalty towards the alienating parent. These emotions and behaviours can persist even after reconciliation, as the alienation process often creates deep-seated trauma bonds and conflicting emotions within the child. Years later, the child/adult may inherently fear upsetting or angering the alienating parent. They know that showcasing a relationship with the previously rejected parent is going to trigger the alienating parent. They may worry about potential repercussions, such as further manipulation, guilt trips, or even retaliation from the alienating parent. Additionally, the child may feel a sense of obligation or loyalty towards the alienating parent, leading them to prioritise that relationship on social media while keeping the relationship with the previously alienated parent private.

It’s essential to understand that healing from parental alienation is a complex and ongoing process. Even if the child or young adult has reconnected with the previously alienated parent, the psychological impact of the alienation may still be present. I speak from personal experience of this, and picking my battles, in fact, choosing to focus on gratitude for my children being in my life again, after a very long time, I let this one go, I see the previously alienating parent is given a lot of coverage on social media … I let it go (except for sharing this with you).

Overcoming fear, guilt, and loyalty conflicts can take time and a supportive environment. A previously alienated parent should respect the child’s boundaries and emotional needs, allowing them to navigate their healing journey and find their voice in their own time.

#charliemccready

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