Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

NPD – Lying is Easier than Truth

Narcissists lie about everything. They even lie about things they don’t “need” to lie about.

Everything about them is so utterly dishonest, that they lie without even saying anything. Their whole existence is based on smoke and mirrors.

Some of them turn lying into an Olympic sport just for the amusement they receive from duping people. They also do it because if they can perceive other people as stupid, then that makes them bright (by standards of the narcissist, of course).

And guess what? Catching them in a lie will not change anything. They will lie about covering up lies and lie more to cover up those lies.

Think of their lies as nesting boxes…a tiny lie inside of a small lie, inside of a medium lie, inside of a big lie, inside of a colossal lie. You get the idea.

Nor will they feel any remorse for their lies. For them, lying is no different than fixing a sandwich or putting gas in their car. Lies are just a means to an end. The only time you will hear them “apologize” for lying is when you prepare to leave them. Not because they are remorseful. It’s because they see the prospect of adult responsibilities staring them in the face.

In a relationship with a narcissist, it always happens the same way.

You discover they’re a pathological liar, usually after they have begun to devalue you. So, the fact that they can’t open their mouth without lying adds to the resentment that’s already building.

From my own experience, that resentment isn’t entirely directed toward the narcissist. We begin to resent ourselves. However, our egos don’t want this realization to rise to the surface of our conscious minds. Our egos tell us, “You can make this work. You can change him/her. All you need to do is be nice to them, and they will go back to the person you fell in love with.”

There’s only one problem with that. The person you fell in love with never existed. It was all a lie.

It’s probably the biggest lie we come to acknowledge about the narcissist.

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Duty to Protect Obligations / Childress FYI

FYI: There is no such pathology as “resist-refuse dynamic” – that is the latest effort by forensic psychology to make up new pathology from thin-air.

It is an effort by the pathogen that lives in them to keep them in charge… because they don’t diagnose pathology. Instead, the pathogen motivates its minions to make up new forms of pathology to avoid diagnosing the Child Psychological Abuse – DSM-5 V995.51 – the shared (induced) delusional disorder.

If any of them try to introduce their new pathology – the “resist-refuse dynamic” as evidence in courts – Daubert and Kelly-Frye it. It doesn’t exist. They are just making stuff up – again.

If an attorney allows the “resist-refuse dynamic” into evidence without subjecting it to Daubert and Kelly-Frye challenge, they should be disbarred for incompetence as a lawyer.

There is no such pathology as a “resist-refuse dynamic” – it is a shared persecutory delusion, a thought disorder, and the DSM-5 diagnosis is V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse.

The pathogen seeks to hide. Don’t let it, expose it for what it is – a delusional thought disorder in the parent imposed on the child – a real thing – a DSM-5 diagnosis of V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse.

They have duty to protect obligations.

A secondary diagnosis warranting prominent diagnostic consideration is DSM-5 V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological. This is spousal emotional and psychological abuse of one parent by the other using the child as the weapon.

They have duty to protect obligations – and they are failing. They are misdiagnosing the pathology – negligent misdiagnosis, i.e., failure to take proper care in their assessment. They are failing in their duty to protect the child from psychological child abuse, they are failing to protect the targeted parent from emotional and psychological spousal abuse.

And instead, they are participating in the child abuse and spousal abuse – if you believe the shared delusion, you become PART of the shared delusion, you become part of the pathology, When that pathology is child abuse, you become part of the child abuse.

The assessment of delusional thought disorder pathology is a Mental Status Exam of thought and perception (NCBI: Mental Status Exam).

Google negligence: Failure to take proper care in doing something. Law: failure to use reasonable care, resulting in damage or injury to another.

Did they conduct a proper risk assessment for possible child psychological abuse (DSM-5 V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse)? Did they conduct a proper risk assessment for possible spousal emotional and psychological abuse of one parent by the other using the child as the weapon (DSM-5 V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological)?

Did they conduct a proper assessment for real things that really exist? Did they fail in their duty to protect the child from child abuse and the parent from spousal abuse? Did this result in damage or injury to the child and targeted parent?

When they make up new pathology that doesn’t exist, they are trying to avoid accountability for their negligent malpractice surrounding pathology that actually exists – child abuse (DSM-5 V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse) and spousal abuse (DSM-5 V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological).

You have rights, but only if you stand and demand them. The forensic psychologists that surround you are ignorant, incompetent, negligent, and unethical – violations to Standards 2.04, 9.01, and 2.01 and failure in their duty to protect on two separate grounds, failure to protect the child and failure to protect the targeted parent.

If they did this to you, they did it to the last child and parent, and they will do it to the next child and parent… unless you stop them. You must fight for each other and each other’s children. A step forward by anyone is a step forward for everyone, for all children and all parents everywhere.

Words have meaning (Standards 2.04, 9.01, 2.01). They have obligations. You have rights – but only if you fight for them.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

The Narcissistic Parent

2 moved from hometown , leaving the shame of a ” crazy” Mom and a Dad that was exposing his love in expressions of himself , traveling , dinning , buying expensive cars , moving to a part of town I had refused due to schools and crime .

The absolute delight derived in dividing , and conquering in a non stop competition, ongoing after 2 plus decades .

Of course as a target , and former ” mental patient ” , anything I said or did was seen as character ..Not Trauma , Not Abuse , Not addictive and toxic RX ..

The foundation of shaky ground denying a balanced partnership included the constant triangle or 3rd person , beginning with the matriarchal as his choice for happy as he walked away , was a gal in such distortion that her vicious behavior and words confirmed her mental health issues. Mirrors of each other , united in my total and complete destruction.

Coming to was a hoilicost of recall and clarity , reading the divorce contract was a complete and utter farce , allowing him control of my finances.

The post nuptials I have no idea of , the charges I placed expunged to ” no fault ” , our lawyers had been partners ( no conflict according to the Bar ; plenty of conflict if I searched for representation .

After 3 lawyers and judicial renderings that supported the abuses , with the bonus of shame that I show up without council .

Depleting my income, ignoring my need to address the side effects physically , of trauma , abuse and neglect our last 5 years , of course I’m responsible .

Legally responsible for my own health care .

Responsible for my own legal fees .

Huge blow back from discoveries, especially financial that address the responsibility of the party/ partner who committed fraud , even legal.

I had 30 days in 2001, to read and comprehend the divorce contract . I was a medicated mental patient , which never has been allowed in civil court .

However , our last court , was made aware of the high conflict , malignant relationship he insist on maintaining .

I was asked if I wished to question him.

No

Unfortunately he is separated from the truth . There’s no point in asking questions; he lies .

The court was informed that I do experience Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Far from a mental illness , awareness is lacking in legal / law enforcement, and has unfortunately destroyed the lives of many children, leveraged in retribution that has no end .

I am clear on what’s going on .

I did not agree to be the dumping ground for his unhealed trauma or a cover so his life looked normal .

Over 20 years of his being the victim that survived and thrived of whom I still want vengeance ever more .

A very recent experience pertaining to business , has revealed much ,that demands closure , a cutting of cords .

Sadly I realize and accept our 3 sons are still in energy of hatred and I’m their monster in their closet , lacking in everything, especially money .

Which is the point of his vengeance… I should never be allowed the freedoms , deserved with salary, home , health care or a relationship because he looses …as his target , he feeds on my challenges , without me he must find another supply .

Ignoring all the nudges from Divine , he in fact digresses.

Fact to face , 2 weeks ago , I had to agree to meet for a cash gift .

As we drove to meet him , I grew concerned that he carried a gun .

My reality is never knowing what he might do . Not enough for a protective order ..

Though his intentions are clear .

Watching , needing to know all with secrets that include my siblings , horrific disregard for vows made, ignoring universal law or karmic justice.

No closure , no periods at the end of sentences decades old , he holds his rage and it shows in his eyes, in his body , in his words .

Trust lost long ago , no more allowances for illegal acts .

Cord Cut .

I’m Thankful , and realize this will include ” his ” children and grandchildren who choose their own path as adults , preferring to ignore me in all ways .

I have not been tempted to act or be as he expects to be allowed contact or relationships with children

He has been informed and has ignored any responsibility for the physical and emotional and mental wellness of his children.

His WAR is not mine , should not be our children’s.

Intimate Partner Violence, ongoing is my reality, and I intend to do all I can to extract myself from the bonds that bind finding no cooperation exist ; only more targeting and secrets and lies .

The triangle 🔺️👌still present , exalted elder , until death they are bonded …matriarchal secrets carried within a destination less than heavely.

Regrets ; His mask was 95% in place and I had no reason to question his presentation, until I became pregnant and a year later became a married single patent and leverage for his partner whom he shared his angst at my forcing a child on him .

The blame game was done in shadow , in secret but I knew it all around me .. with lulls that I held as ” normal” striving to balance our family , to be enough for an insatiable need, want , desire that had no boundaries and still doesn’t.

UNCLE

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/08/when-the-narcissist-is-the-parent/