Tag: abuse narcissistic behavior

Pregnancy and Narcissist Partner

He was shocked 😳

He took no responsibility for birth control , blaming me .

We did not yet have me covered by health care .

He didn’t participate in my pregnancy or birthing .

He speaks of having to marry me as a warning ⚠️, our 1st was born a year after marriage ; do the math 🧮

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Conflict with a Narcissist- Charlie McCready

This is about fundamental differences in how conflicts are typically managed.

When a mentally healthy person engages in a disagreement or conflict, their approach tends to be rooted in constructive communication and a genuine desire for resolution. They are often open to listening, understanding different perspectives, and working collaboratively toward finding common ground. Disputes with mentally healthy people can evolve into productive conversations, providing an opportunity for mutual understanding and exploring viable solutions.

On the other hand, conflicts with mentally unstable people (ie cluster b personalities – narcissistic, histrionic etc.) tend to follow a different trajectory. These people often display manipulative behaviour, a lack of empathy, and a propensity for escalation. Disagreements with them can quickly devolve into a destructive cycle characterized by heightened emotions, personal attacks, and an unwillingness to consider alternative viewpoints. Characterised. The toxic person may employ tactics such as gaslighting, deflection, or blame-shifting, making it challenging to establish common ground or reach a resolution. They may even refuse to talk things through at all or simply just shout and rage.

The escalation of conflicts with toxic people is rooted in their dysfunctional coping mechanisms and an inherent resistance to acknowledging their own faults or mistakes. They may perceive any disagreement as threatening their fragile self-esteem, leading them to react defensively and intensify the conflict rather than seek a constructive resolution.

For an alienated parent dealing with a toxic co-parent or partner, navigating these dynamics is particularly challenging. The toxic behaviour may be directed not only towards the parent but also potentially influencing the child involved in the alienation. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for managing expectations and choosing appropriate strategies. Establishing and maintaining firm boundaries, focusing on self-care, and seeking support can also be essential strategies for coping with the unique challenges presented by disputes with toxic people in the context of parental alienation.

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Narcissist cannot play Victim without a Villain /Charlie McCready

It goes without saying they don’t HAVE to villainise their ex. That’s not the best example to set for the children, nor in the children’s best interests. But it’s often the way someone acts who has a personality disorder as alienating parents typically do.

Narcissistic alienating abusers love to play the ‘blame game’, and their rules of the game are to shift all their issues onto you. The objective is that they win, and you lose. It’s as simple as that. They can break the rules, but there will be consequences if you do. You are blamed for everything that’s wrong with them! They are chronically unwilling to see their shortcomings and will use everything in their power to avoid being held accountable. In the short-term which is all they’re thinking about, it’s easier to blame someone else, especially if they’re angry with that person, post-separation/divorce. They project. Projection is a defence mechanism used to displace responsibility for one’s negative behaviour and traits by attributing them to someone else. The projections of a narcissistic parental alienator are often psychologically abusive. All the toxic shame they may carry (hidden and denied) about themselves is projected onto the target parent. They’re experts at cheating, lying, manipulating and accusing you of doing the very thing (ie an affair, lying, manipulating, being mean with money etc) that they are doing. “It’s not me; it’s you!” Projection is a primitive defence tactic to shift the blame, attributing traits and behaviours to others that are denied personally. Look over there! Nothing to see here! Projection relieves them of feelings that they can’t tolerate in themselves. It is to preserve the ego by distorting reality. It’s reactive. They usually have no interest in self-insight or change. Don’t feed the alienator’s supply. Step back, and as far as possible, disengage. Don’t play their game. Supply yourself with the confirmation that their abusive behaviour is the problem, not you. Stay strong.

#charliemccready