Tag: manipulation

Emotional Coercion, Psychological Abuse & Manipulation- Charlie McCready

The idea that the alienating parent is not standing in the way of your relationship with your child is pure theatre. It’s an act. Behind the scenes, they’ve already given the child their lines and coached them into believing the character they’re supposed to play. Indoctrination, such as when a child is alienated and without justification for their rejection of you, is what’s happening. The child isn’t being given choices. They’ve already been coercively controlled and enmeshed into an alignment with the alienating parent.⁠

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A child’s expression of wishes holds such power and is often a deciding factor in proceedings concerning them, but it should be acknowledged as a voice, not a choice. Placing the child in a position where they must select one parent over the other goes beyond being inappropriate. Children often desire things at age 8 or 9 that they’d go nowhere near ten years later. I’ll give you an example. I thought it would be incredibly cool to be a lion tamer. Thankfully my parents didn’t think to put me in a lion’s den with a whip and a whistle, thinking that my needs must be met because this is what I believed was right for me. I also wanted to be able to fly, and they didn’t send me off to be operated on with wings attached to me surgically. Of course, children need to be heard, but they also have to be guided, nurtured, given boundaries while not being totally indoctrinated. Children might not know better than to wish for something detrimental to them, as in the case of being allowed to choose to reject a loved, loving parent, having been encouraged by the alienating parent to do so.⁠

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Research shows that many adults who, in their youth, rejected a parent, having been given a lot of pressure to do so by the other parent, later came to regret it and wished somebody would have had the sense to help them realise this was not a good idea – friends, family, legal or mental health professionals, anybody. ⁠

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Taking, ‘it’s their choice’ at face value fails to recognise the extent of coercive control, psychological abuse, and manipulation at play, which can have profound negative effects on the child’s emotional development and well-being.⁠

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#charliemccready

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Sherrie Campbell PhD – the go to family manipulator

Our power-holding family members always have their one “go to” person to help them manipulate. Whenever confronted by us, they cry to this person about the horrible and awful ways we have treated them. They play the shocked and helpless victim of our abuse.

The dramatic story they tell is far from the truth because what our abusers leave out are the facts on who started the conflict to begin with. They start conflict, get us to react, then delete what they did in the retelling of the story, incensing their trusted (and most easily manipulated) confidants to turn on us.

This puts us the position to be further abused by these confidants who have no idea that they are judging us on false facts and a person who rewrote history before involving them. Our relationships often end with these middle people who have no interest in hearing any other side than that of our family member who has already poisoned them. The teaching to take is to let them believe what they want. You have only lost a fool who will believe anything they hear without further research.