Tag: child Psychological abuse

Childress PsyD- DBT – Therapy – Being presented to courts in response to Child Psychological Abuse

Hi Dorcy. I have a thought about times coming and I want to put the thought with you as well.

As you’re aware, I’m focused on bringing Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) to the family courts, adapted to the parent-child conflict. That will give us immediate competence in cognitive therapy for the delusional beliefs, Applied Behavioral Analysis behavior therapy to identify the inauthentic conflict, and Mindfulness to de-stress the child and teach self-authenticity skills.

It also brings any fighting about treatment to an end. We bring the fighting about diagnosis to an end. Then we bring fighting about therapy to an end. And we import professional competence in multiple levels.

DBT is weak on attachment – that’s Tronick & Gold, the Power of Discord. But we’ll work that in once the structure is established.

Traditional DBT is also a treatment team model. DBT relies heavily on skills instruction in addition to the CBT and Mindfulness therapy components. Traditional DBT in the treatment team model often uses coaches to deliver the skills training, such as in Distress Tolerance skills for the borderline personality, while the mental health therapist delivers the CBT and Mindfulness components.

Here’s my idea.

I’ve hired a grad-student assistant from the University of Washington, Rachel. She’s been with me for the past year learning the pathology and my practice. The University of Washington is home to Linehan and DBT.

As Rachel progresses into next year’s studies, I’m going to ask for her help in some initial adaptations of DBT to the family court pathology. Specifically, I want to develop the modified skill set for instruction to the parents – targeted and pathological – and the child.

Why re-invent the wheel?

I am anticipating that sometime in the future, I’m going to ask Rachel to contact you asking if you have a Conscious Co-Parenting Skills Training protocol. I would like to import it trademarked to you into the recommended adapted DBT skills training curriculum.

Heads up, think about packaging the Parent & Child Skills Training protocol from the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute for inclusion in a DBT court-adapted therapy model.

Also… DBT is accustomed to working with a therapist-coach treatment team model. As you’re aware, I think that’s an excellent model for the family courts. The CCPI coaches would deliver the skills training packages, the DBT therapist would deliver the CBT and Mindfulness components.

Your knowledge regarding recovery could then ‘back-flow’ into the mental health system as part of an integrated team. You understand the model, I’ll be recommending it with DBT as the core.

Heads up. Plant in the spring to harvest in the fall. The idea organizes, we move toward the idea, the strange attractor in the chaos of the pathology. We need a treatment plan, for that we need an accurate diagnosis.

There was before the Balkans. There is after the Balkans. We will be advancing into a different phase of potential chaos, from which order arises… proper order… sane order… one based in actual reality and professional competence.

Your world.

Step-by-step.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Manipulation of children via parent

Self-worth and self-love are integral to our happiness. If we don’t get a sense of our own value when we’re children, during school years, or with our spouse/partners, we can potentially open ourselves up to experiences in our lives that reflect our low self-esteem/lack of self-love back at us, reinforcing the proverbial vicious cycle.

“You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” Wayne Dyer

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds” Bob Marley

I speak from experience. I have been through many dark nights of the soul over the years. Many. And always it comes back to the need for more self-love and worth. It starts with that.

You’ve heard it before, I’m sure, but we must love ourselves first and be our own best friends. We must love and care for ourselves as we love and care for others. Those people and experiences we’ve attracted into our lives, like those parental alienators, take advantage of kindness and generosity, love and compassion. Healthy relationships come from mental and emotional maturity and balance. Boundaries. Self-respect. Love is not conditional – attachment, promises, control, manipulation. We don’t need validation from others. We are enough We can let go of fear, anger, grief … I know, it’s hard, but it can be done. With time, kindness, and some conscious effort of course. We can start afresh every day. A clean slate. We are not victims. We can transform pain into power. The past is over. Our memories can’t hold us back forever.

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung

Nobody else has the permission to tell us we are less, not good enough, unlovable … that stems from their own issues and fears. We should know better if only our minds would just give us a break and be our friend, not our prison guard. Today offers the gift of the present. We can be the saviour, the hero and the creator of our lives.

#parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #divorce #highconflictdivorce #childabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #charliemccready #personalauthority #9StepProgram

A fathers story as Parental Alienation was observed today

Child Psychological Abuse

Today is Parental Alienation Awareness Day…what does that mean EXACTLY?

It means for my husband that his ex-wife spent every waking moment of Mary, Liam and Katie’s childhood making them hate every single thing about him.

It means she used isolation to keep them away from him so that he could have no impact on their lives whatsoever.

It means she told them lies over and over again to make sure that the narrative the kids always had about their father was that he was a horrible human being.

It means she used fear on a daily basis to make them completely afraid of their dad.

It means she enlisted them to be her personal spies so that every single thing that went on in our home was twisted & used against us in court.

It means she included them in rituals to make sure that every single time they thought about him they thought about the ritual.

Sounds completely crazy doesn’t it??

Yet there are approximately 22 MILLION moms and dads in the United States alone that are living this nightmare!

I’m convinced this number is way off. It seems at least twice a week I meet somebody who’s being alienated and doesn’t know it.

Today, my husband has ZERO contact with all three children.

They are 24, 22 and 20 years old.

He’s missed out on every high school graduation, birthdays, holidays, 2 college graduations and the birth of his very first grandchild.

There isn’t anything happy about being alienated.

It’s grieving literally millions of memories that will never be made all because someone- a bitter, angry, narcissistic, pathological lying ex – COULD.

SO, next time you meet somebody that’s a “struggling single parent”, please ask questions. It’s VERY POSSIBLE if that parent tells you a tale about how they’re trying to make ends meet and the ex is a piece of crap that they’re LYING.

For more about our story and FREE evidence -based resources please visit

Link in bio OR
ParentalAlienationSpeaks.com

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alienatedparent #fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #mothersrightsmovement #mothersrights #parentalalienationischildabuse #parentalalienationisacrime #parentalalienationisreal

Parental Alienation :Craig Childress PsyD

There is no such thing as “parental alienation” in clinical psychology.

The use of “parental alienation” in a professional capacity is substantially beneath professional standards of practice in clinical psychology and is in violation of Standard 2.04 Bases for Scientific and Professional Judgments of the APA ethics code.

The Gardnerian PAS “experts” are a fringe group of professionals who reject the diagnostic guidance of the American Psychiatric Association and the ethical guidance of the American Psychological Association.

There is no such thing as “parental alienation” – everyone needs to stop using that construct in a professional capacity and rely ONLY on established knowledge.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Childress – Nailed it / Child Psychological Abuse

SB-331 – Judicial Education Curriculum

From SB-331: “SEC. 6. Section 3040.5 is added to the Family Code, to read: 3040.5. (a) A judge assigned to family law matters involving
child custody proceedings shall report to the Judicial Council the
number of hours in a program of continuing instruction in domestic
violence, including, but not limited to, coercive control and child
sexual abuse.”

The curriculum for judicial education is crucial. It must be balanced to the concerns of both parties. The following judicial curriculum is recommended:

  • Narcissistic, borderline, and dark personality pathology.
  • Family systems constructs.
  • Child abuse. The differential diagnosis of child abuse – identifying authentic child abuse versus false displays created by an allied pathological parent.
  • Intimate Partner Violence. The differential diagnosis of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) – identifying authentic IPV concerns surrounding the child versus false allegations made by a narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent to manipulate the court’s decisions regarding child custody.

o Note research by Ok et al. (2021) regarding the manipulative “virtuous victim” presentation by the Dark Triad personality.

o Note research by Clemente et al. (2020) regarding the Dark Triad personality and judicial manipulation.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

When it’s easier for an alienated child to be with Mentally Disordered / Distorted parent

Sharing a mom ‘a experience

One of the most shocking and absolutely grievous things about my divorce was how my ex-husband played the victim in such a way that it created extreme disdain and contempt toward me from 3 out of my 4 sons.

My ex-husband and I had TWO conversations about how we would present the information about divorce to the children. I suggested we simply tell them we were getting divorced and none of it was their fault. We would express our deep love for them and we would still be thier mom and dad in every way! At the time, he seemed to be okay with that.

I should have known better 🤦🏻‍♀️

When it came down to the actual conversation, he stated over and over, “your mom filed the papers,” and presented himself as some kind of martyr. Simultaneously, he was a “hero” to the children for “keeping his vows.”

I was so shell-shocked and I didn’t have a response prepared, so I just flatly said something along the lines of, “This isn’t God’s plan for marriage and I hope all of you have good ones.”

That conversation with my sons was the beginning of thier father’s covert alienation tactics toward me. I felt like I had left one abuser, only to have to live with 3 more. They were horrible to me: disrespectful, scornful, argumentative, irrational and downright cruel. I kept trying the best I knew how to break through the alienation, hoping they would see the truth. I read books, listened to podcasts, watched YouTube videos, attended workshops and talked to my therapist about how to overcome this grievous and awful situation. I tried many strategies, to no avail. I became so exasperated and hopeless, I eventually mentally checked out. I decided that if my kids had food, shelter, clothing, education and medical care, then that was enough. Other than that, I was emotionally spent. I literally ran out of “give-a-damn.” If you haven’t experienced parental alienation, you’re probably gasping and thinking, “I could never give up on my child!”

If that’s you, it’s okay. I can see your perspective and I respect it.

But if you’ve been there, let me tell you that it’s okay. All feelings are okay. All emotions are mentionable and manageable. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t stay there.

I wish I had a fairy-tale ending to this story, but I don’t. Things got a little better after their dad remarried. I have a hunch that situation helped get his attention off our sons since he had a new person to placate him and wipe his butt. My oldest son is still estranged from me. My second now sees the truth, but struggles with MANY after-effects of trauma. My third is a self-centered person who “loves” me so long as I agree with him, placate him and give him whatever he wants. My fourth is the most well-adjusted; he and I have a wholehearted, connected relationship.

I’m fully convinced that every child prefers to have a loving, connected relationship with both of their parents when possible. When a parent intentionally (overtly or covertly) turns a child away from the other parent, it’s child abuse.

#ParentalAlienation

Provide for the child : Psychological Abuse via Narcissist Parent

I should tell you about treatment this Sunday over coffee. I’ll bet you all want to know how to fix things.

You can’t.

We cannot ask the child to reveal their authenticity until we can first protect the child from the withering psychological retaliation that is sure to follow from the pathological narcissistic-borderline-dark personalty parent.

We must first protect the child.

In all cases of child abuse, we must first protect the child. That’s called a “Safety Plan” and it precedes a Treatment Plan for all dangerous pathologies – suicide, homicide, abuse (child, spousal, elder).

The child has a problem. How does the child love both parents and receive the love of both? I’m most concerned about the child feeling loved by the parent, I want the child to feel loved by mom and by dad – both.

The pathological parent is forcing the child to choose sides in the spousal conflict. If the child tries to remain neutral… they’re on a “side” in the mind of the pathological parent – if the child does NOT reject the targeted parent, the child is on that parent’s “side” in the mind of the pathological parent.

The pathological parent is narcissistic; that’s an absence of empathy, the capacity for cruelty. The pathological parent is borderline; that’s a role-reversal feeding off the child.

They are Dark Triad, Vulnerable Dark Triad, and Dark Tetrad. That’s narcissistic, psychopathic, borderline, sadistic, and extremely manipulative.

These are highly toxic, highly malevolent, and highly manipulative humans. It’s important to understand the pathology – It’s important to understand the problem.

The pathological parent psychologically groomed and seduced the child into a cross-generational coalition. We must extract the child from the pathological relationship with the pathological parent.

We must first be able to protect the child from child psychological abuse by a pathological parent – a narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent.

How do you fix things? We start by protecting the child. Then what?

I should talk about then what. You’ll want court-adapted DBT. You won’t find that, clinical psychology is not in the family courts yet. You need the support of the mental health professionals – but there is none.

So… then what?

Those seem like pretty substantial barriers – we must first protect the child – you’ll need mental health support and there is none.

So… what do you do?

I should talk about that this Sunday over coffee – So? What do you do?

As the healthier parent, are there things you can do to help stabilize your child? How do you respond to the crazy false allegations, to the anger, to the supposed fear?

I should talk about that. I’ll bet you’d like to know more about what you can do in response to the child. But I don’t want to make it seem like there’s actual things you can do – this is child abuse, we must first be able to protect the child before we can ask the child to reveal their authenticity.

If I tell you ways to expose your child’s authenticity into re-bonding, then I’m only opening the child to increased child abuse by the pathological parent. You’ll be happier… at the expense of your child. You don’t want that.

So, what can you do?

You need professional support from professional psychology – they are the ones who should identify the pathology of child abuse and they are the ones who should fix it, i.e., treatment. But there is no support from professional psychology currently available. You are struggling within broken systems.

Forensic psychology is incompetent. Clinical psychology has abandoned you. The mental health system surrounding you is massively broken. That’s a problem.

You want to get OUT of the legal system as much as possible – this is NOT about custody, it’s about pathology, attachment pathology. You need a treatment plan to fix it. Move the issue into healthcare not the courts.

Then we generate a treatment plan – for that we need a diagnosis. We will need the mental health sector to diagnose the child abuse. They have duty to protect obligations, and the differential diagnosis for severe attachment pathology is child abuse by one parent or the other.

A child rejecting a parent is child abuse by one parent or the other, the only question is… which parent?

But what do you do in the meantime? How do you unravel the Gordian Knot you face? You can’t. We should talk about solutions to your situation with a knot that can’t be unraveled.

What do you as a parent do to solve the situation with your child when you’re with your child? We should talk about that.

Sunday 8:00am Pacific: Coffee w/ Dr. Childress 8:00 on Facebook Live.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Just takes 1 alienating parent to destroy a child’s happiness

The alienating parent seeks to lead and control. Their behaviours are incredibly selfish; they put their needs above everyone else’s, including their children. A healthy-minded, loving parent doesn’t do that, and most of us couldn’t have imagined anyone would be that cruel. We know children love and want both parents in their lives (until the campaign of denigration kicks off, usually triggered by separation/divorce). It takes us by surprise how much the alienating parent simply doesn’t care. Vengeance and ‘winning’ is more important to them. Typically, they are cluster b personalities (histrionic, borderline, narcissistic ..)

It can be argued, by some, that parental alienation does take two because without the ‘other’ there can be no triangulation. Some also suggest that we should have known better or had higher self-worth, or been less empathetic, kind-hearted, patient or tolerant.

But the simple fact remains; one parent alienates the other parent. It takes just one person. And they harm and destroy many with their actions. They know the moves because they’re highly manipulative. BUT when you empower yourself with an understanding of their behaviours, and the pathology behind it, you can learn to predict their next move, and even be one step ahead.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

AND PLEASE DO JOIN ME ON MY NEW COMMUNITY PAGE. Thanks.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/3214325232164553

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain.

.

Charlie Mc Cready

All stated here and more

Family courts, counsellors, and psychologists should be looking out for a child who is emotionally cut off from one parent with whom there was previously a loving relationship. Now the child finds that parent repellent and doesn’t want anything to do with any aspect of that parent’s life. Everything about that ‘target’ parent is deemed to be bad, wrong, and dangerous, and the child might express anxiety when the other parent is mentioned. The child is free to judge and criticise – they behave as if they’re above the other parent/grandiosity. There will probably be psychological ‘splitting’ where one parent is all good/a hero and the other parent is a monster/bad. There’s no grey – the alienated parent doesn’t even appear to be a force for good in the child’s memories. The alignment with one parent is strong with shared (delusional) thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. There may also be parentification, a kind of role reversal where the child regulates the parent, and acts as confidant and protector. The child has been privy to adult concerns and conversations. Bottom line; one parent is usually willing to cooperate, co-parent, find solutions, be reasonable, they are exhausted, heartbroken, and might not present well (and who would given this dreadful experience), and another parent, the alienator, is confident, charming, absolutely sure of their ‘victory’, but also throwing allegations, and not willing to cooperate or co-parent. These are a few signs of both alienated child/alienating parent, and plenty for the courts and counsellors and schools and anyone involved in child protection to be alert to and act upon.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain

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