Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse

Narcissist Flow

In the wake of toxic relationships, it often feels impossible to find healthy dating prospects or even to expect that there are healthy people in the world!

As someone who’s been through the dark night of narcissistic abuse and made ALL the mistakes possible, I can tell you almost exactly how we women show up in relationships if we haven’t done enough healing work.

  • Thinking that men who say they only want “something casual” might eventually change their minds if we “play our cards right”
  • Trying hard to come across as low-maintenance so that you don’t push him away unwittingly
  • Pretending that you’re okay with “go with the flow” when what you really want is a commitment
  • Offering to help with a project he’s working on – when you barely know him
  • Trying to be chill when he mentions p*rn
  • Going along with his lifestyle choices that are out of alignment with your own

And then, after entering into a relationship, becoming exactly who and what he wants so you can keep him.

This is why it’s so important to know who you are and build a strong identity after toxic relationships. Because if you don’t have a strong identity going in, you will go along with things that hurt you and you’ll settle for way less than you deserve.

Before you know it, you’ll realize you’re in a relationship with someone who’s, at the very least, emotionally immature and unavailable or, at worst, a narcissistic abuser.

Never give your power away again.

Get boundary tools to shut down narcissists & Boundary Breakers and invite in healthy love!

Check out my groundbreaking video course THRIVE here:

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Your friend on the journey. Xo

selfhealers #thrive #thriverdating #thrivebootcamp #freedomhealing #healthylove #datingafterdivorce #datingexpert #datingproblems #encouragingwomen #heartfeelings #lonelinessquotes #overcomefear #relationshipadvise #relationshipcounselling #relationshipissues #relationshipmanagement #bethechangeyouwishtosee #youareincontrol

( #📷 @kim.saeed )

Much higher Numbers Affected

“Dr Carol Golly, a child and family psychotherapist, believes children can be damaged if contact with grandparents is stopped.
“Children who become cut off from grandparents with whom they enjoyed prior close relationships may have lifelong difficulties with trust, relationships, and emotional health,” she says, citing evidence that self-devaluation and relationship cut offs “may become an intergenerational pattern”.”

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1186632/grandparents-day-esther-ranzten-family-estrangement-news

James Redfield : Relationships

Why does romantic love often end, degenerating into a complex power struggle?

Usually, romance begins easily enough. We look around and wham! There before us is the person of our dreams. The first conversation confirms it. Unlike the one-sided attractions we’ve all experienced, this one seems to be real; the feeling is mutual. We find values and lifestyle preferences in common. And oh the emotion! Perhaps over time we marry or make plans far into the future. For perhaps the first time in years, we feel happy, and even comment that we have found the missing piece of ourselves.

And then something happens. One day we look over and notice something’s not quite right. Our partner has a behavior that we don’t align with, or they aren’t giving us the attention we felt when the relationship began. Amazingly, at the same time, we realize that our partner has their own set of complaints about us too, finding fault with who we are and how we act. We begin to defend ourselves, as does our partner, and the typical power struggle officially begins.

As the relationship progresses, that “in love” feeling begins to wane for both partners as each falls short of the magical image the other has projected on them. Sometimes, the disappointment is so great, we immediately make plans to leave the relationship, to find another dream lover who won’t let us down.

Yet now, because of our expanding awareness, we have other options. We can instead choose to act based on the energy dynamics that underlie the difficulty. From the perspective of the new spiritual awareness, we now know what happens. Love ends and evolves into a power struggle because we begin to depend on energy from each other, rather than from our own inner connection with the divine. 🙏💖✨

Sherrie Campbell ,PhD – Disordered Thoughts

Severely character disordered people don’t care how much good you do for them. When you are going above and beyond for them, helping them, hearing them or supporting them, they greedily take it as long as it fits with the narrative of who they think they are. However, when you give them honest feedback on how their egocentric ways are creating problems in their lives they turn on you and cast you as the bad guy. They totally erase all the support you’ve given them over the years.

They prefer to play the victim than to accept feedback, healthy boundaries set on them, or the normal changes that take place in relationships over the course of life. They turn on you regardless of if what you share with them could get them closer to the things they claim they want.

The mindset to hold is these types have such intense pride problems that they cannot see how it would benefit them to be more flexible or open. It’s too hard on their egos. This is when they start throwing tantrums and making public displays of how they have been victimized. They would rather act like this to get what they want than to act like an adult.

Not your circus not your monkey.

Hovering

Obsession, Targets Death Wishes, Not Responsible, Selective Recall, Controler, Malignant , Unforgiving

Being in a relationship with a narcissist feels so convoluted and devastating because they trap you with falsified moments of trust. ⁠
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In these precious moments, you experience a sense of profound security and comfort. You believe they genuinely care about you.⁠
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You sense that the narcissist understands you in a way nobody else can. You feel like you’re crazy if you decide to leave. But it’s all a thinly veiled lie built on advanced manipulation.⁠
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Because you’ll feel safe and appreciated during the narcissist’s HOOVEriNG, you’ll want to stay close to the narcissist. ⁠
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But they become a sneaky, well-dressed predator, one who knows how to flatter your every flaw and compliment your every quirk.⁠
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At first, it’s exciting. Because let’s face it. Who doesn’t like to feel adored? Who doesn’t want all the attention and validation? Who doesn’t want to feel unconditionally accepted and appreciated?⁠
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But when the surface cracks, the narcissist’s uglier, authentic colors start to emerge. The darkness reveals itself. It may happen slowly. An insult here and there. A passive-aggressive comment. Blame or accusations that don’t make sense. You typically brush them off at first. After all, nobody is perfect, right?⁠
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Then you suddenly can’t do anything correctly. Suddenly, you’re the enemy, the ugly fool, the stupid and incompetent person who keeps messing up. The narcissist becomes increasingly meaner. You start feeling increasingly insecure, worthless, uncertain of your every move. ⁠
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Suddenly, you’re walking on eggshells in your own home, ashamed and fearful of your next step.⁠
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This is the true outcome of narcissistic hoovering. That’s why it’s crucial to remember during times the narcissist is trying to woo you back into their crazy that they are a wolf in sheep’s clothing…not to be trusted under any circumstances.

( #📷 @kim.saeed )