There is no more ignorance or dismissal of what is. For the last year , it has been intense and anyone who mattered to me deeply has remained as they have been , silent , distant and seemingly enjoying my draining experiences.
I haven’t been in denial as I heard and watched the replays of such distorted mind sets and I grieved at the separation from Christ Conciseness or even humane consideration .
I watched in horror as this transpired in 93 within my family as 1 person has such drive to be happy and step out of any and all responsibilities with as much as possible and I knew in my incapacity as a “ metal patient “ who had not had the support of any family especially the one who vowed to be my partner.
The healing and closure I have sought won’t include anyone from my past or family . As this past year evolved I had “ friends “ and associates who were not authentic and it was a heartbreaking realization to be betrayed so harshly given that they were aware of my past and desire to rise above .
This is especially difficult with regards to children , aware that they have crossed over long ago to shadow and continue to spin in that energy
However if someone continues to hurt or harm , knowing they can and enjoying it , I must allow the enemy their space just not in my space . I’ve been too long preparing and had too many losses to ignore those who feel I belong in lack and negativity
I can’t or won’t walk it back for anyone , of that I am sure .
Someone commented about our “dark night of the soul” in sympathy to my symptoms of exhaustion. I put a check mark and then signed off. Thinking thinking thinking….Am I in a dark night of the soul? I’ve been through a few so I didn’t think so. But maybe this is a dark night. Maybe I was wrong to think this is ascension symptoms and that I’m not being punished but instead this is just part of the lessons to be learned as I ascend. And I thought, “there ought to be a book – Ascension for Dummies” because this is bigger than what my brain can handle. But inside me stirred that feeling of KNOWING. And when that happens I know a fierceness of knowledge is about to pour out of me and onto the page. I’ve seen it happen numerous times in my books across my sixty plus years on this planet. This time would be no different. But as I’m too tired to write ASCENSION FOR DUMMIES, I am not too tired to type this on my phone as I lay in bed shaking with exhaustion from the months of symptoms of ascension. I am not being punished but pushed. I am the bearer of LIGHT. And therefore my journey is heavy and not for the faint of heart. It’s a path that we all signed up for and that is why we are being pounded with the lessons that others cannot bear. We have been strengthened to withstand the lashings of lessons, the whippings from ancestral pasts, the beatings from millennia sweats out of us with our palpitating hearts and sweaty awakenings. Our sleep full of vivid dreams that at one time were really and that we did experience! They feel real because they were real. We care purging out lifetimes of injustice and injuries, no appetite for when we were starving, and fevers for when we were burning up with the inability to take action. Our bodies are REMEMBERING what we are letting go; misery, suffering, starvation, and so much more! Our chakras are being balanced with every breath we take when we are too tired to speak. We are leaving behind lifetimes of illness in order to live again. As we hold more and more light we become the light body of the star seeds of the Universe. The great champions of love who want to help us live our most glorious life! But the 3D experience leaves little room for feeling inspired let alone motivated to do anything but survive. We are too sick and exhausted to DO anything but lie here in bed and bemoan being alive on earth! And I don’t blame you; for this role of ascended being is not for Everyone but a few. YOU. And YOU. And yes, even YOU. You are the chosen one. You are the special one. You are blessed to ascend with the greatest masters of all time across millennia! So when you’re too exhausted to brush your teeth or do more than complain about your dark night, remember this; EYES WIDE OPEN MY BELOVED, YOU ARE THE FUTURE, you hold the entire UNIVERSE in the palm of your hand. THAT is how important you are to this work of lighting the earth. That is why your mission is so fraught with obstacles and challenges. Because it is so important and so are YOU. And YOU can do hard things! For this is not a “dark night if the soul” but a reckoning of cataclysmic and universal blessings bestowed upon your ancestral head. Bear the blessings as a badge of honor. You are loved beyond measure. We are so proud of you and it is a privilege to serve you for humanity’s sake rests upon your shoulders. April Beam 💜 Aspire Nation 💜