This is clear and solid proof of how the law , courts and society should change this ASAP
Tag: Parental Alienation
Mess in our legal system : Craig Childress PsyD
What a mess in our legal system.
The focus of everyone is on our legal system both as it functions and what a mess it is.
That’s good for us here in the family courts because… the family courts are a mess too.
It’s not the judges. Engoran was an honest broker who runs a trial fairly, Chutkin is an honest broker who runs a trial fairly. Merchan is an honest broker who runs a trial fairly.
Cannon on the documents trial may be biased by her political loyalties… which goes to show the system is not pure of personal motivations.
But for the most part, while recognizing possible bias issues with human judges, I’m not holding the judge’s responsible for the failure of professional psychology.
The failure is psychology’s not the court’s failure – and it’s professional psychology who’s failed – massively failed – the children, their parents, and the courts.
The courts do what the courts do, it’s the psychologists who’ve failed in their obligations. First we need to fix the broken mental health system response, and then we use the fixed mental health system to fix the broken legal system.
Two steps: one we fix the healthcare response, two we fix the legal system response based on the fixed mental health system.
We’re riding the winds of a tornado – the legal system’s swirling – wheee – let’s swirl too into changes that make things better, faster, easier, smoother, without all the fighting.
The moment a “high-conflict” triggering criteria is met, we should be routinely bumping out all the court-involved custody cases for a mental health risk assessment for child abuse to the differential diagnoses of concern for each parent – each litigant in the proceeding.
Both litigants – both parents – are making allegations of child abuse against the other. So… let’s get that properly assessed to the concerns of both litigants – both parents.
That’s easy. That’s simple. That’s better.
Just routinely bump-out high-conflict custody cases for a risk assessment to the differential diagnoses of concern – authentic child abuse – or – a shared (induced) persecutory delusion, i.e., child psychological abuse.
One way or the other it’s child abuse… so… let’s just pop it out to the mental health people for a proper risk assessment for the child abuse concerns of each litigant – each parent.
In four to six weeks we could have a returned diagnosis for around $2,500 – $5,000 with a second opinion, and I’d recommend we get a second opinion all all court-involved custody conflict assessments.
The appellate system for a disputed diagnosis in healthcare is second opinion. Rather than get a second opinion sequentially which just wastes a lot of time – get a second opinion simultaneously through telehealth (or from a case consultation group with other court-involved professionals).
We should always be getting a second-opinion on court-involved diagnoses because… we need to end the fighting surrounding these children… AND… we need an accurate diagnosis 100% of the time.
The pathological parent manipulates the court system for delay-delay-delay, all the while increasing the pathology in the child, deepening their psychological hold on the child.
This is child abuse. This is the threatened overthrow of American democracy. The legal system needs to move faster in response to child abuse. We can do that when there’s the motivation to do that.
Is the Supreme Court motivated to protect the nation?
We’re swirling in a cyclone of parallel process everywhere, a truly chaotic and turbulent flow. Hold on. Let go because there’s nothing to on to.
There are lines moving – lines of entangled meanings, lines of entangled motivations. A pathogen, like Covid of our minds, is in active inflammation within us.
It’s a pathogen we’ve seen before. Last time, we defeated the pathogen through violence. Now, this time, it’s within us rather than out there.
It’s come again to its purpose. It’s evolved since the last time. This time, instead of attacking us from the outside, it’s attacking us from the inside. It has us attacking ourselves,
The legal system is swirling. It’s time for change.
We need to protect all children from all forms of child abuse 100% of the time. We can do that when there’s the motivation to do that.
They’re not currently motivated to do that.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857
I cannot force kids to see you / Alienated
‘I can’t force them to see you. It’s their choice.’ On the surface, it might seem like a reasonable statement, but the alienating parent’s behaviour and conditioning heavily influence the child’s ‘choice’. What’s actually being said is: ‘I’m in charge, and I get to decide if they see you or not; bad luck for you.’ This is one example of the emotional manipulation and coercive control that underlies parental alienation, which is abuse disguised as love and protection.
The idea that the alienating parent is not standing in the way of your relationship with your child is pure theatre. It’s an act. Behind the scenes, they’ve already given the child their lines and coached them into believing the character they’re supposed to play. Indoctrination, such as when a child is alienated and without justification for their rejection of you, is what’s happening. The child isn’t being given choices. They’re already been coercively controlled and enmeshed into an alignment with the alienating parent.
A child’s expression of wishes holds such power and is often a deciding factor in proceedings concerning them, but it should be acknowledged as a voice, not a choice. Placing the child in a position where they must select one parent over the other goes beyond being inappropriate. Children often desire things at age 8 or 9 that they’d go nowhere near ten years later. I’ll give you an example. I thought it would be incredibly cool to be a lion tamer. Thankfully my parents didn’t think to put me in a lion’s den with a whip and a whistle, thinking that my needs must be met because this is what I believed was right for me. I also wanted to be able to fly, and they didn’t send me off to be operated on with wings attached to me surgically. Of course, children need to be heard, but they also have to be guided, nurtured, given boundaries while not being totally indoctrinated. Children might not know better than to wish for something detrimental to them, as in the case of being allowed to choose to reject a loved, loving parent, having been encouraged by the alienating parent to do so.
Research shows that many adults who, in their youth, rejected a parent, having been given a lot of pressure to do so by the other parent, later came to regret it and wished somebody would have had the sense to help them realise this was not a good idea – friends, family, legal or mental health professionals, anybody.
Taking, ‘it’s their choice’ at face value fails to recognise the extent of coercive control, psychological abuse, and manipulation at play, which can have profound negative effects on the child’s emotional development and well-being.
#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #parentalalienationischildabuse #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissism #narcissists #narcissismawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedparent #alienated
Detachment – Charlie McCready
Detachment is your ally. Detachment lets you shift from wanting to undo a wrong to just focusing on healing yourself. When your weaponised, indoctrinated, alienated child is rude, insulting, upsetting, angry, accusatory – and even if you wanted, you can’t defend yourself from something you didn’t do because you’re not given the airtime – it is not easy to deal with this. But not reacting, not fighting fire with fire, is a loving act.
Detachment allows us to disengage emotionally from the turmoil of the situation, providing a much-needed respite from the relentless onslaught of hurtful behaviours and manipulative tactics. Cultivating resilience and inner strength in these adversarial circumstances is paramount.
By accepting the reality of our situation, we create space for healing and transformation to unfold. As Kabat-Zinn eloquently puts it, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” In other words, by relinquishing our attachment to outcomes and relinquishing the need to control, we empower ourselves to ride the waves.
The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once observed, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” In this journey of parental alienation, may we find the strength to love ourselves deeply and the courage to extend that love to our alienated children, even in the face of the most difficult adversity.
#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienation #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationischildabuse #highconflictdivorce #Divorce #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #FamilyLaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissismawareness #narcissists #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #alienatedparent #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedfather
Detachment can be exhausting
Detachment is your ally. Detachment lets you shift from wanting to undo a wrong to just focusing on healing yourself. When your weaponised, indoctrinated, alienated child is rude, insulting, upsetting, angry, accusatory – and even if you wanted, you can’t defend yourself from something you didn’t do because you’re not given the airtime – it is not easy to deal with this. But not reacting, not fighting fire with fire, is a loving act.
Detachment allows us to disengage emotionally from the turmoil of the situation, providing a much-needed respite from the relentless onslaught of hurtful behaviours and manipulative tactics. Cultivating resilience and inner strength in these adversarial circumstances is paramount.
By accepting the reality of our situation, we create space for healing and transformation to unfold. As Kabat-Zinn eloquently puts it, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” In other words, by relinquishing our attachment to outcomes and relinquishing the need to control, we empower ourselves to ride the waves.
The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once observed, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” In this journey of parental alienation, may we find the strength to love ourselves deeply and the courage to extend that love to our alienated children, even in the face of the most difficult adversity.
#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienation #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationischildabuse #highconflictdivorce #Divorce #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #FamilyLaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissismawareness #narcissists #narcissisticfather #narcissisticmother #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #alienatedparent #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedfather
Suppressed memories of the Alienated parent due child psychological abuse
Alienated children may suppress memories of the alienated parent due to psychological stress and loyalty conflicts.
This phenomenon, known as memory erasure or suppression, can occur when children feel pressured to align with one parent and reject the other, leading them to forget positive experiences or relationships with the alienated parent, contributing greatly to an overwhelming sense of a guilt and creating loyalty conflicts that culminate in anxiety issues.
#letthemlovestopparentalalienation
#parentalalienationawareness
#ParentalAlienationSyndrome
Another professional to aide in getting our kids back – Craig Childress Psy D
New Resource
Dr. Price-Tobler walks her graduation today in Australia. Or maybe it was yesterday, I get confused with Australia. It’s now. I’m attending. Sort of. She sent me the Zoom-link. I love the Internet.
Dr. Price-Tobler has also written a book from her dissertation research regarding the now-adult survivors of childhood psychological abuse. It’s being sent off to the publishers.
I wrote the Foreward for Dr. Price-Tobler’s upcoming book. Wanna hear my Foreward?
I have had the pleasure of knowing Dr. Price-Tobler professionally for many years, and I personally know her to be a dedicated clinician to the substantial benefit of her clients. Dr. Price-Tobler has a broader 38 year professional background in adolescents and adults with severe emotional and psychological disabilities affecting their lives, while also maintaining a more focused practice with the now-adult survivors of severe level child psychological abuse by a pathological parent.
The research and clinical work of Dr. Price-Tobler with adolescents and families in high-conflict custody litigation is superior ground-breaking research in a much-needed area, child psychological abuse prevention and recovery. The child abuse pathology in the family courts has gone unrecognised and neglected for 40 years of forensic psychology, as is typical for all forms of child abuse prior to its overt recognition. Child abuse is always a neglected and hidden pathology, until it is recognised. Once child abuse is seen, we protect the child. Until the child abuse is recognised, children are abused and remain unprotected.
The failure of professional psychology for the past 40 years in misdiagnosing (misidentifying) the pathology in the family courts as being something other than child abuse has led to generations of abused and untreated children, who now, as adults, struggle with a variety of life issues as a result of their undiagnosed and untreated psychological abuse as a child. It is to these now-adult survivors of child psychological abuse that Dr. Price-Tobler brings her research efforts to understanding their needs, toward a goal of developing a treatment protocol for the recovery of healthy development with the now-adult survivors.
Dr. Price-Tobler brings accomplished professional insights to her own personal experience as a now-adult survivor of severe level psychological child abuse and abduction in her own childhood history. The life course that Dr. Price-Tobler took to her current professional accomplishments is a testament to the resilience of now-adult children of psychological abuse in overcoming both the psychological abuse of childhood and the neglect from the professional community regarding their damaged attachment beliefs.
Dr. Price-Tobler’s research provides a valuable first step to understanding the unique experience of the now-adult survivors of abuse by a narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent. This ground-breaking research provides novel and valuable insights into the current experiences of now-adult survivors and potential insights into possible differing strains of the pathology’s severity and expression.
In particular, Dr. Price-Tobler brings potential directions for more deeply understanding the psychological damage to children caused by child abduction surrounding divorce and child custody conflict. Creating severe attachment pathology (psychotic-range) in the child for secondary gain of manipulating the court’s decisions regarding child custody creates significant psychological damage in the child (from an induced persecutory delusion and factitious attachment pathology imposed on the child). The additional complex trauma of child abduction, however, adds an entirely new layer of trauma and psychological child abuse that the current research by Dr. Price-Tobler begins to examine.
The professional, academic scholarship of Dr. Price-Tobler is exceptional and is a credit to her mental health practitioner training, her lived experience, and her dedication to the well-being of her clients. The quality of scholarship from Dr. Price-Tobler clearly indicates her dedication to well-serve her clients and is a credit to the profession.
I anticipate with eagerness the upcoming Volume Two of her twin PhD study pertaining to the mental health practitioners who work therapeutically with now adult survivors, and additional work from Dr. Price-Tobler.
Regards, Dr Craig Childress.
A new Player has entered the game. She’s not here for you. She’s here for the forgotten who’ve become lost. She’s going to find them to bring them back home.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857
Charlie McCready -The FAKE controlled reality of the Alienated Child
In The Truman Show, Jim Carey plays Truman Burbank, an insurance salesman living a seemingly idyllic life. As an audience, we know the truth, but Truman is unaware that he’s living in a constructed 24/7 TV reality show. As props and scenery fall, supporting actors get their lines wrong, Truman becomes increasingly suspicious that something is amiss. The truth unfolds about his existence, prompting him to seek freedom from the fabricated world that he discovers has been overseen by ‘Big Brother-type’ TV producers. Not only is this 1998 film prescient of the rather Orwellian, omnipresent surveillance and the corrupt, controlling, profit-over-people systems fully in operation today, but it’s also quite easy to relate this story to the experience of the enmeshed, coercively controlled, alienated child.
As with Truman, alienated children may ‘remember’ events that never occurred, influenced by insinuating, repetitive and conditioning information provided by a parent meticulously crafting an artificial construct in a controlled reality, shaping the understanding of the world. Shared persecutory delusions between the ‘aligned’ parent and the child, false memories, along with fixed false beliefs, are not uncommon in cases of parental alienation.
Trauma bonding is similar to what Truman experiences as he fears leaving everything he’s ever known and believed to be real. As with Stockholm syndrome, something that happens between a hostage and a kidnapper, a cult leader and their followers, and an alienating parent and their child, the captive/follower/alienated child stays entrapped and gets comfortable with their predicament either because they don’t see they’re entrapped or they think there’s no other choice – even if they sense something is amiss, as Truman does. Control and a severe imbalance of power hold the whole edifice up. Breaking free is daunting. Worse still, the child/captive believes they’re not safe outside; they might believe they need that person/the captor/controller to survive. For Truman and alienated children alike, the horrible realisation …. (cont’d in messages)
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of being deceived, the shattering of a long-held illusion, requires their perception of reality to undergo profound change, which can be enormously challenging.
However, just as Truman breaks free, finds love, and starts to live his authentic life, our alienated children need to recognise their entrapment, see through the false narratives, and embark on a journey toward sovereignty and freedom, independent thinking and behaving. In the climactic scene, Truman overcomes obstacles as the show’s producers try to prevent him from leaving. He reaches the edge of the set and finds a hidden exit door. He steps outside and sees the massive studio set and vast artificial sky. Even then, when the shock of the subterfuge and confinement is revealed to Truman, the show’s creator and director tries to persuade him to stay. The alienating parent doesn’t want to lose control. It makes Truman’s decision to leave a powerful moment of liberation as he chooses freedom over everything that has defined his entire life.
Alienating parent treats child like a puppet – Charlie McCready
Possessiveness is not love. But when we are attached to an object, a goal, a dream, or another person, even our children, there are feelings that tell you: “If I don’t have that, exactly as I wanted it to be, I won’t be happy, I won’t be whole.” Attachment is connected to the ego. The ego is a construct of yourself that you’ve built through years of conditioning. Control is not love. Control comes from fear. Alienated children fear losing the love of the resident parent. They’ve been turned against the alienated parent, so that would leave them parentless. They cling for survival, out of fear, to the alienating parent. Fear is not love. When a parent is narcissistic, they will prioritise themselves above their child. Alienating behaviour is not loving, it’s about control, which is about fear.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#coercivecontrol
#emotionalabuse
#splitting
#childabuse
#custody
#parentalalienation
#narcissisticabuseawareness
#ChildCustody
#FamilyCourt
#divorce
#divorcingparents
#fathersrights
#FathersMatter
#mothersrights
Charlie McCready – Restoration
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 