The masculine has three choices when it comes to freedom and the feminine…
The masculine in all of us seeks freedom.
The freedom to be the master of one’s own destiny.
The freedom to explore power and love on his own terms.
But there is no guarantee that the masculine will ever actually experience freedom.
Because he must grapple with the feminine
And that adds a whole layer of complexity.
Can you imagine a world with no women?
What do you imagine men would be doing?
Yet we do not live in such a world
We never will.
And so inherent to men and the masculine
Is a desire to meet the feminine
To experience intimacy with woman.
For most men, this is a perennial desire
And struggle.
He wants freedom
And he wants her.
How to resolve the two?
There are only really three options…
1. Freedom FROM the feminine
This is the realm of the f*&k boi, the man going his own way, and the tyrant.
“Woman cannot control me!” is his slogan.
He refuses to allow the impulse to merge with the feminine have any say in the matter, and so he keeps her at bay.
For the f*&k boi and player, oh he will explore intimacy… the most superficial kind… but the moment she gets close enough to have any influence over his internal world, his freedom… he is gone.
Onto the next one in an endless parade of novelty seeking.
The man going his own way simply gives up, and off into the wilderness of freedom he goes… no need for her, I’ll be fine. A dog, beans out of a tin and a caravan (or perhaps something nicer too).
And the tyrant… well he may be in a relationship, yet his intense need to be uncontrolled makes him controlling. Think of Scarface, the Wolf of Wall Street, Casino… he gets the girl, but she never ever ever gets him, not really and he will fight her until the abusive end to ensure it stays that way.
To be free from the feminine is to give up any real chance of experiencing intimacy with her.
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2. Abdicating freedom TO the feminine
Sadly many men will simply roll over and hand the keys to their wild masculine essence to her.
“You are the boss” he will simper, as he spends the next years trying, and failing, to make her happy.
Even more sad is how many women will coerce a man into this scenario believing it will provide her the safety and security she is craving, as the forces the submission of his power that she is also craving.
Women will utterly break men this way.
And weak men will allow themselves to be broken.
This is the saddest choice of all… and the only outcome is a gnawing core of bitterness.
Nothing worthwhile can grow from this scenario.
Let us grieve for how many relationships in the world are, right now, festering in this pit of patheticness.
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3. Freedom WITH the feminine
The last choice left to a man is to reconcile his desire for intimacy with her, with his own wild inner freedom.
This is a man who recognises that true freedom comes from within.
The feminine can never take it from him, and so he never has to fight her for it.
Freedom is not the ability to do whatever, whenever he wants… that is the freedom of a teenager exploring his first taste of independence… rather it is an internal experience that he uses to shine, to unleash his power in the most benevolent of ways.
This is a man who is the master of his own domain, the keeper of his kingdom.
And like any good King, he has a Queen next to him.
He is not beholden to her, he co-creates with her.
Reciprocal complementary polarity.
His unique gifts meets hers and together they create more than they could ever possibly do alone.
Freedom is not some set of circumstances that needs to be rigidly controlled to be felt… it is a place within.
Freedom is his
It always was
And it always will be
Nothing can ever take it away.
When a man embodies this… he soars.
And he is finally capable of the true depths of intimacy that are possible with a worthy mate.
✍️ Damien Bohler
