When I was an involuntary patient, my mother was made to be my substitute decision maker (SDM) since I would not willingly submit to treatment of a non existent disease. I was heavily drugged and could not advocate for myself and was barely able to communicate with her during this time. While on the drugs, I had experiences of modified perceptions and had trouble to focus on the basic task of speaking to others, or fighting for my own rights. During this time my mother would be brought to an interview with a psychiatrist, with or without me present, and brain washed into the benefits on psych drugs, which she attempted to advocate should be administered in lower doses or removed from my drugging routine due to her witnessing the effects on me. I will never accept that she fully fought for my rights, because although she states she couldnt remove me from the ward (which I equate to a prison) due to a Form, she didnt advocate nearly enough to have me removed, and her consulting on my dosages translated to me as active participation in my drug induced abuse. But here are some of the lies i overheard the “doctor” say to try to convince my mother forced drugging (being injected against my wishes) was a beneficial act -as opposed to how I see it: an outright violation of my health and freedoms
- “Psychosis causes brain cells to pop, her brain is damaging itself when she goes into psychosis.”
My perpsective: I dont have psychosis, I have a justified outbursts due to anger of not being heard or understood in a given circumstance. I am fully reasonable and able to be reasoned with in this time. The psychiatrist doesnt know a thing about me to deduce that I do in fact have psychotic episodes, since I barely spoke to him, and he does not know anything about me. Additionally I’m sure the more severe damage is caused by psych drugs not by any potentially psychotic episode that someone may or may not experience.
- She has a brain that has biochemical imbalances, we need to regulate it.
It’s a well proven MYTH that chemical imbalances correlate with mental illness or that they exist. No one in the ward measured any form of imbalances, so how can they even scientifically prove I have imbalances if they never ran any tests.
- She will relapse if she goes off the drugs.
Relapse into what- being my normal, reasonable self?
- She will be a lifelong pateint and suffer from bipolar her entire life.
I dont identify as bipolar, and I will fight to never be in a ward again. Mental illness is a myth, a matter of perspective. Once you get to know people, the illusion that they are disordered or ill mentally fades away.