The moment an alienated child begins to grasp the reality of their situation—a stark realisation that they have been indoctrinated, coached, – brainwashed – by the very parent they believed was protecting them—can be profoundly upsetting. It’s as if a veil has been lifted, exposing a painful truth that shatters the illusions they have held onto – sometimes for a very long time. They may have fought against really believing the truth, because with it comes a mix of difficult emotions: a deep sense of betrayal, anger, sadness and regret.
The weight of the false narratives they’ve embraced can press heavily on their heart. They reflect on the hurtful words they’ve been taught to say, the anger they’ve expressed, and the love they’ve withheld from the parent who only ever wanted to care for them. The loss of precious time spent in conflict can be an agonising weight to bear. For them as for us. They mourn the memories that could have been—birthdays, holidays, and simple moments of family life. With each recollection, they may also grapple with feelings of foolishness for having believed the lies and allowed themselves to be swayed into a camp that vilified the other parent.
It’s a painful cognitive dissonance—the love/loyalty they’ve had for their alienating parent now colliding with the guilt of having rejected the other. they may feel not only betrayed by the parent who manipulated them but also a realisation that they have been used as a pawn, they’ve been weaponised. This can lead to feelings of anger towards both themselves and the alienating parent. However, with time, they can unearth the truth, reconnect with the love they’ve always held for their other parent, and reclaim their sense of self. The journey ahead may be challenging, it’s like a detoxification, and it can also be a path to rediscovering love, trust, and the potential for meaningful reconnections.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#abuseinthefamily
#pathogenicparent
#coercivecontrol
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