Including the song 80s ladies , which is ancient , none the
less, opened some flood gates , as downloads of memories
were viewed like a film reel…
I wasn’t a girl of the 50s , I was born in 1952 . I was a child
and highly imaginative , and creative , and self soothing ..
Or demanding lol… or I just left the area of down, or negative
energy , to read, hang out , be in nature ..I walked a lot …
But socially , emotionally I was behind , shyness or rejection
of a person, place or thing , while a reaction to negative energy
or a physical reason, found me difficult …I was ordained caregiver
for necessity, and since I was great at self soothing , and had
“Mothered” a brother 14 months younger , loved kids and play
and food etc I became everybody’s Mom . I was knowledgeable
with roommate at 18 who could not pop , pop corn .
With the 2 quick marriage fails , feeling liberated from the over
bonded mate , I married convinced he was liberated, mature
savvy and he was my friend ..
Enlightened very early on, my focus on being my best , doing
my best , wearing the mask, as he did , loving each moment
of mothering , the light of children , becoming a true physical
struggle , as marriage never reached authentic stability ..
I did the best I could , my body signaled over and over ,
medicine failed , finally prescribing addictive RX , that took
me down …
Lacking the tools or support , I lost the 90s to induced addiction.
He lost his maid, surrogate , prematurely perhaps .. I’m sure he
would have exposed himself , I hope that I would have awakened
enough move through it .. but fate intervened …
Gratitude for so much of my path so far , clearing , clearing and creating
while life around me , tugs at me , exampling aspects of my journey
that delayed me , kept me stuck , as exampled by so many ..
Fear cannot and will not guide me , as resting and self care are essential.
Finally trusting my inner guidance , our golden age , arriving in Aquarius
is lending to many dreams becoming reality …
I know and trust my heart . Beloved must trust their heart ..
The Best is yet to be …
Blessings & Peace ,