Tag: Parental Alienation

Alienated Parents

That is exactly how ridiculous these alienators are –

They accuse the parent of abandoning the child – when that same parent stands in court begging to be part of the child’s life.

If you buy an extravagant present for Christmas – “they are trying to show me up”

But a cheaper gift “they couldn’t be bothered”

They tell the child “Mammy/Daddy will never bring you on holidays” – never of course telling the child they have warned the target parent that they will never be allowed too.

They will tell people “their Mom/Dad never showed up to a special events – never revealing that the parent was unaware of it taking place.

They will tell people the Mom/ Dad never calls – never telling you they are blocked from contact.

They will tell the child “your Mom/Dad didn’t bother sending you a card – never telling you they returned to sender.

And the biggest whopper of a lie told by so many alienators” My child/ren have chosen to live without their Dad/mom because they are happier without them in their lives –

Never telling you that they have manipulated and gaslighted their own child to feel this way about their other parent – using all or most of the red flag behaviours of Parental Alienation.

Charlie Mc Cready – Happy New Year

My New Year’s resolution is to keep spreading awareness about parental alienation, to bring about positive change, to help and support those of you who are experiencing pain and suffering, to keep providing daily information, and to let all you loving, wonderful parents know it’s not your fault, it’s inflicted on you, it’s a pathology of lies, it’s abuse that must be recognized by those in positions to help, the ‘experts’ in family courts. I also want to continue providing uplifting content too. Those don’t get the same ‘likes’ and I don’t care, they’re not there for that purpose, but just for whoever needs to receive them – a bit of a virtual hug from me – you are not alone, you’ve got this, and you are stronger than you know. Grief and anger and the negative emotions that come about through this terrible experience are heavy. We must do all we can to stay light and loving, ready to welcome our child/ren into our lives at any time.

It’s perfectly fine not to feel particularly joyful during the festive season when we’re missing people (our children) we love; when we’re struggling financially, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or dealing with difficult family dynamics. If we don’t feel like celebrating we can take time out. It’s exhausting to put on a brave face all the time. But we also must try not to focus all the time on all the drama, fear, pain and suffering. Our news keeps us low vibe too. But there is good news out there too. Look for the good news. When any feelings of shame or guilt or grief arise, immediately give yourself love and care and forgiveness. These are passing feelings, they are not you. You are love. You are not, in a spiritual sense, lost or separated from anyone you love. Or from Mother/Father/God, or whatever you want to call the source/Love. You are worthy, and you deserve to live in peace, joy, and love. And this is my heartfelt wish for you in 2024.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#alienatedparent

Web of manipulation- Alienation

Expressing your love and other emotions (anger, sadness, confusion) to your alienated child can paradoxically play into the hands of the alienating parent and exacerbate the divide. This counterintuitive nature of the situation arises due to several psychological dynamics at play:⁠

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Confirmation Bias: The alienating parent has probably already painted a negative image of you in your child’s mind. If you express your love, sadly, your child might perceive it as manipulative or insincere.⁠

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Emotional Manipulation: Alienating parents manipulate a child’s emotions, using guilt, fear, or anger to maintain control. Expressing your love openly might be misinterpreted by your child as an attempt to manipulate them (which is quite ironic). ⁠

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Fear of Rejection: Your child, under the influence of the alienating parent, might fear facing rejection or anger if they show any signs of siding with you. This fear can prevent them from openly accepting the love offered, leading to a defensive response (angry words or actions).⁠

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A Defense Mechanism: Your child, consciously or subconsciously, might align with the alienating parent to cope with the cognitive dissonance caused by the alienating behaviours. Accepting the love from you might create internal conflict, triggering anxiety and confusion.⁠

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Projection of Alienating Parent’s Feelings: Expressing love or affection towards you might trigger feelings of jealousy, insecurity, or anger in the alienating parent, leading to further manipulation and attempts to poison the child against you.⁠

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In essence, the alienated child is caught in a web of emotional manipulation, fear, and confusion. While your intentions are pure and genuine, your child’s perception is heavily influenced by the distorted narrative created by the alienating parent. It requires great patience, empathy, and understanding of the pathology to unravel the layers of manipulation and pave the way for healing and reconciliation.⁠

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #FamilyLaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissistsurvivorgroup #narcissisticabusesurvivors #narcissist #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissism #narcissismawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder

#narcissists #narcissisticrelationship

Holidays for an alienated parent – children

I know from personal experience that the Christmas Period can be one of the toughest times of the year for you to get through.

You will be having a unique experience of alienation, but you might be surprised how similar your concerns about Christmas are shared by many other parents just like you.

Comment below to share what suggestions you would find helpful, or where you most need help and I will answer the most frequently asked questions over the course of this week. I will also be doing top tips for things that will help you get through the next couple of weeks in a way that is better for you and better for your children.

We think you are amazing parents and want to help you. You deserve happiness in your life

charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationischildabuse #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #alienatedmother #rejectedparent #rejectedmother

#rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #coparenting #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticparent #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissists #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticrelationship

Empowered to move forward – Craig Childress , Psy D

The pathogen isolated you from rescue by creating forensic psychologists – a sub-specialty field… just for you.

No other pathology has their own “special” psychologists who do something different, who don’t diagnose and don’t treat pathology. Let that sink in… they don’t identify the problem or fix it.

What good are they? A: None.

The pathogen gave you bait to seduce you into squandering your efforts and energy in useless fighting and fighting that never solves anything… by giving you the WORST possible diagnostic model for a proposed “new pathology” unique in all mental health of “parental alienation”.

The pathology created forensic psychology to isolate parents from rescue. The pathology created the construct of “parental alienation” as bait for parents to exhaust your efforts into unproductive fighting.

Wait… Dr. Childress, are you saying a pathology has motivation? Yes. No other pathology seeks to be the pathology. ADHD doesn’t want to be ADHD, schizophrenia is not trying to remain schizophrenic. This pathology is seeking to exist – it needs to exist – it has motivation.

How? Because the pathology is an attachment pathology. The attachment system is a primary motivational system of the brain. The coherent set of damaged information structures in the attachment networks, damaged by trauma that remains unresolved, have access to our motivations.

The pathogen can make us do things we don’t realize we’re doing.

The pathogen has three defenses. No other pathology has defenses seeking to maintain the pathology against its resolution. This pathology does, it defends itself, it wants to exist, it needs to exist.

1) Hide. This pathogen’s first defense is to hide. It hides extremely well.

2) Seek Allies. This pathogen seeks allies who will enable it to exist (and remain hidden).

3) Attack Threats of Exposure. This pathogen attacks any threats of exposure with great viciousness to put target on the defensive.

I’ve fixed that. I’ve exposed the pathogen from hiding – diagnosis – I’ve identified in professional-level constructs what the pathology is.

I’ve identified its allies in the forensic psychologists and Gardnerian PAS “experts” – it’s not enough to simply identify the pathology, we must also identify the pathogen’s allies who enable it. Without its allies, the pathogen becomes powerless.

I’ve endured its attack… and I’m still standing. It’s our turn now to attack the pathogen and put the pathogen on the defensive. The moment it has to defend… it’s exposed from its hiding.

The pathogen is exposed on attack. I’ve created a situation where it MUST attack or else it will be identified and removed. I’ve created a double-bind for it, if it doesn’t attack Dr. Childress, I will be expose it, and if it attacks… it will expose itself.

It’s a pathogen – a coherent set of damaged information structures in the brain that cause a pattern of pathology. See the patterns and you’ll see the pathogen that creates them.

The pathogen’s only choice now is to avoid encountering the anti-pathogen of Dr. Childress and my work. It doesn’t even want to acknowledge I exist, because the moment it does… it’s all over, it’s exposed from its hiding and everyone sees it.

But it will be unable to avoid the encounter with Dr. Childress and the anti-pathogen of AB-PA because I’m already into the mind-scape. Truth is truth. Truth will out.

I’m not your warrior, I’m your weapon. I replaced your impotent “parental alienation” thing with something effective, something powerful – diagnosis and the established knowledge.

I’ve made you dangerous to the allies of the pathogen. Knowledge is immensely dangerous to ignorance, especially when the binding sites of ignorance are required – required – by ethical standards to apply knowledge as the bases for professional judgments.

I’ve boxed it in. It has no escape now. Forensic psychology will collapse and “parental alienation” will disappear from professional-level use. Clinical psychology has abandoned you – because the pathogen has made itself too dangerous to your allies to be here.

The pathogen isolated you from rescue. That’s our next step, we need to get you quality professional services in the family courts, competent mental health services for you and your children, and an accurate diagnosis for the court’s decisions surrounding the child and family.

When I found you, you were all going round-n-round in endless circles of continual conflict. I put us on a linear path. We are moving in a direction. We have reached the point of collapse, the Tower of Destruction that lead to rebirth.

The dysfuntional systems are collapsing into their dysfunction. For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes, there must be ashes.

I needed to have everything completed by the time the Dying Time came in 2020, the Sacrifice needed for entry. I was on the list of those to be sacrificed, it was coming for the old, it was a culling of the herd of the old and vulnerable, I was part of the herd it was culling.

I didn’t know if the coming sacrifice represented by the Dying Time was for you or included me. It was yours, I was able to successfully dance with invisible death and I survived.

But going in, I didn’t know if I’d be coming out, so I had to have everything completed by the time the Dying Time of the sacrifice arrived.

Now everything is done. You have everything you need. Plus I’m still here for a while to help with your transitions, at least for as long as I’m here. I dodged death in 2020, but the doorway remains just up ahead. It’s the way of things to transition out so others can transition in.

I’ve done my job. Now they need to do theirs. You are more powerful than you know.

You’re the protective parent. I know that and you know that.You just need support. You have support. It’s time to live into your power.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Narcissist Neglect – The monster in Parental Alienation – Charlie Mc Cready

I want you to know that what you’re experiencing is incredibly challenging, and your grief, rage or sense of injustice about feeling as if you’re unimportant, invisible, ignored, uncared for, and unloved are entirely valid. It’s important to acknowledge that being in the presence of a narcissist or a psychologically abusive person can be deeply damaging, as they often prioritise their own needs and interests above all else.⁠

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Your pain is real, and it’s not your fault. Narcissists (alienating parents often fall into this category) thrive on manipulation and control, and they may make it seem as if you’re the one at fault, but please remember that this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s all too common not to recognise the presence of a narcissist until we’ve already been deeply affected. They can be incredibly skilled at hiding their true intentions, and they excel at making us feel like we’re the ones who should be changing to meet their demands.⁠

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But here’s the truth: when we subjugate our own needs, wishes, and interests for the sake of a narcissist, we unintentionally empower them even more. It’s like feeding a never-ending appetite; they are insatiable in their need for control and admiration.⁠

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Please understand that you are not alone in this struggle. Many have faced similar challenges. It’s not an easy journey, but breaking free from the grip of narcissistic abuse is possible. You deserve love, care, and respect, just as anyone else does. Your spirit may feel crushed now, but with the right support, self-care, and healing, you can begin to mend the wounds inflicted.⁠

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Remember that seeking help through therapy or support groups can be a significant step towards understanding and healing from this traumatic experience. You have the strength within you to regain your power, rebuild your life, and emerge from this darkness into a brighter future.⁠

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You are important, visible, cared for, and loved, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. Your journey to reclaiming your self-worth begins with recognising your value and taking steps towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Keep going. Stay strong, my friend. ⁠

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#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienation #parentalalienationisreal #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticparent #narcissism #narcissismawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticrelationship #narcissists

The Abusive Alienator is a Green Eyed Monster – Charlie McCready

When abandoned or disappointed by other people they may show what on the surface looks like depression, but which on further examination emerges as anger and resentment, loaded with revengeful wishes, rather than real sadness for the loss of a person whom they appreciated.” (Kernberg, O.F. (1975). Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism)

The narcissistic wound – the core sense of inadequacy, an emptiness – is vulnerable to slights, rejection, and criticism. When triggered, it exposes the borderline personality, the grandiosity, superiority, rage, the need to demean and try to re-establish their importance and authority. Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi says that rather than acknowledging their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, these people will blame-shift, and project onto others, cold-heartedly and cruelly. They will then insist that their victims need the help that they refuse to get themselves. This is toxic and psychologically abusive. If they lie (and they do this with ease, it’s a survival technique), they will accuse others of lying. The whole world is wrong, but never the narcissist. Narcissism and parental alienation usually go hand in hand. A narcissistic parent prioritises themselves above their child and is quite capable of using their child to serve their own selfish interests and needs. This will include weaponising the child against the target parent. A parent with a narcissistic personality will typically refuse to recognise an authority or anyone else’s rules. They believe they’re exempt from standards and behaviours, and rules that govern other people. They have a sense of innate superiority, they have no qualms about making their own rules, and they will refuse orders regarding custody and visitation. These views are shared with the child/children, so that the child/children feel the same and start to feel similarly entitled (superior) in their views of the erased parent, believing the resident parent to be right and the erased parent wrong (splitting). The child becomes empowered to disregard contact with the targeted parent. It’s not uncommon for that child, when placed in the care of the targeted parent, to run away and go back to the parental alienator (alignment/identification with the aggressor, I’ve written a post on this). This ‘good’ parent is above the law, a victim, a survivor, whatever they need to be to ‘win’. The pathogenic narcissistic parent actually has a fragile ego. Make sure you put up boundaries. With all the love and compassion, and kindness that has been used and abused, we have to draw a line on any further exploitation. Cut ties, as much as possible, don’t react, and don’t give them more ammunition. Do all you can to avoid being involved in the narcissist’s pathogenic narcissistic dysfunction.

#parentalalienation

#highconflictcoparenting

#alienatedchild

#rejectedparent

#parentalalienationawareness

#charliemccready

#psychologicalabuse

Charlie McCready – Parental Alienation – not personal

I’ve come to understand that this isn’t about me personally; it’s a deeply rooted attachment pathology, and complex family dynamic involving disordered parenting. It’s spiralled into a situation where my child’s thoughts, beliefs and behaviours have been significantly influenced – trauma-bonded, coercively controlled, emotionally manipulated. Learning about this has helped me see the bigger picture, though I am working on my sense of isolation, frustration, injustice, and of course the grief. There’s nothing like it. People say it’s like a ‘living bereavement’ and that’s so true. It seems people don’t truly understand this unless they’ve been through it, and alienated parents are united in feeling let down by the mental health and family court system. ⁠

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Still, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned not to react to the hurtful behaviour anymore. Sometimes, I catch myself just shaking my head, thinking, ‘Oh, this again.’ It’s like recognising a pattern. I remind myself that ‘this too will pass.’ My focus now is on maintaining my love for my child, even if they can’t see it right now. Detaching with love has become my way of preserving our bond through this difficult time. Nobody can take the love I have for my child away from me. Nothing and no one. ⁠

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Conscious parenting plays a significant role here. It’s about recognising the importance of my child’s emotional well-being even when they may not fully comprehend it themselves. So, I make an effort to create a safe and loving space for them whenever/should they ever walk through my door. My door, and my heart, are open. I don’t let their negative behaviour dictate my response. Instead, I model the behaviour I want them to see—unconditional love, patience, and understanding. It’s challenging, but it’s also empowering because I believe this will help me and it will help my child heal when they’re ready. ⁠

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienationcoaching #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #FamilyLaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticrelationship #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissismawareness #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissists

Charlie Mc Cready – Punishment via the parent / Alienator

I think this post is pretty self-explanatory for those of us who know what this is all about. The alienator is quite capable of telling us we actually have no children anymore, we don’t deserve to see them, we’re no good …. and the reason? They want to punish us, and through doing this are quite willing to punish the children by doing all they can to remove a loving, willing, available parent from their life, from their positive thinking and beliefs, and from as much involvement as possible. These alienators are not mentally healthy. This is not the behaviour of a loving parent, or a person of sound mind. It doesn’t bring our children back to know this, but it is always worth remembering the pathology and that the problem lies with the alienator and not the child. Even though the child is coercively controlled to behaving in ways that align them with the alienating parent, it was not their choice (that’s estrangement and in some ways part of the ‘cutting the ties’ that is a right of passage), because children ideally want a good relationship with all their family, both their parents and not just the bullying, alienating, controlling one.

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoaching #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedfather #rejectedmother #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissism #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticrelationship #narcissismawareness #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissists