Tag: Parental Alienation

Mental health issues in Alienator

It’s often the case that the alienating parent may exhibit untreated mental health issues. These issues can range from personality disorders like narcissism or borderline personality disorder to unresolved trauma or attachment issues. However, rather than addressing these issues, the pathogenic parent tends to project their own shortcomings onto the targeted parent. This projection serves as a defence mechanism, allowing the pathogenic parent to avoid taking responsibility for their behaviour and deflecting attention away from their own mental health challenges. Instead, they attribute all wrongdoing to the targeted parent, painting them as the sole source of problems within the family dynamic.

Often, the ‘target’ parent has done what they can to encourage the pathogenic parent to seek help but is met with resistance or denial. As a result, the alienated parent is often seeking help to help them cope with an ex who refuses to admit they need help! They may undergo therapy or counselling to help them navigate the complexities of parental alienation and develop coping strategies to protect their well-being and maintain a healthy relationship with their child despite the obstacles posed by the pathogenic parent.

I look forward to the day when there’s a wider public understanding of what we call ‘parental alienation’ (child psychological abuse) and support, interventions, education, and a focus on encouraging the pathogenic parent to seek professional help.

Meanwhle, every day, these posts go out, hoping to help you feel less alone, hoping to help you understand the pathology, so it lightens your load a little. I know I felt so incredibly isolated (over 20 years ago when I first started on this road) myself. Stay strong. Don’t ever lose hope. My children returned. It took a while, but make sure you live your life and don’t get overcome with grief and anger. Do what you can to let that go, and strive to be happy. Reach out if you want to know more about how I can help more with my program and coaching.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#familycourts

Jealousy & the Alienating Parent – Charlie McCready

Jealousy sometimes stems from the alienating parent’s feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. They may perceive the ‘target’ parent as threatening their self-image and desire to control. The ‘target’ parent’s positive qualities, ability to bond with the children, and any attention they receive from the children may trigger feelings of inferiority. To compensate for these feelings, the alienating parent may resort to tactics like character assassination, false allegations, coercive control, limiting contact, triangulation, the silent treatment/isolation, withholding information, parentification, gaslighting, negative projection, inconsistent rules, undermining parental authority and psychological manipulation to damage or sever the ‘target’ parent’s relationship with the children.⁠

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These actions are actually defensive! Hard to believe, and they are of course, abusive. Essentially, the alienating parent – often with narcissistic traits/borderline and unwilling to address their issues – wishes to protect a fragile self-esteem. By vilifying the ‘target’ parent, they attempt to maintain a sense of superiority and control over the situation (and the children). This behaviour manifests their internal struggles and need to validate their self-worth, even at the expense of the children’s well-being.⁠

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Jealousy is the feeling of wanting something that someone else possesses, whether it’s a material possession, an attribute, a relationship (with your children in this case), or an achievement (especially being happy, being loving), and having a sense of dissatisfaction because they perceive themselves as lacking that particular thing. It’s worth remembering this when you feel down. They are jealous of you. A lot of their psychologically abusive behaviour often stems from this. ⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach