Tag: Child Abuse

Child Trafficking

Much of the exposure like this one are denied , have been denied for decades . Those men who approached me as a child were not seen in the community , not charged etc and it’s grown steadily worse.

It’s horrific to acknowledge but know this is ending . Children will not be experiencing this as we clear it . Punishment will be exalted and children will be safe to be children

youtube.com/watch

When it’s easier for an alienated child to be with Mentally Disordered / Distorted parent

Sharing a mom ‘a experience

One of the most shocking and absolutely grievous things about my divorce was how my ex-husband played the victim in such a way that it created extreme disdain and contempt toward me from 3 out of my 4 sons.

My ex-husband and I had TWO conversations about how we would present the information about divorce to the children. I suggested we simply tell them we were getting divorced and none of it was their fault. We would express our deep love for them and we would still be thier mom and dad in every way! At the time, he seemed to be okay with that.

I should have known better 🤦🏻‍♀️

When it came down to the actual conversation, he stated over and over, “your mom filed the papers,” and presented himself as some kind of martyr. Simultaneously, he was a “hero” to the children for “keeping his vows.”

I was so shell-shocked and I didn’t have a response prepared, so I just flatly said something along the lines of, “This isn’t God’s plan for marriage and I hope all of you have good ones.”

That conversation with my sons was the beginning of thier father’s covert alienation tactics toward me. I felt like I had left one abuser, only to have to live with 3 more. They were horrible to me: disrespectful, scornful, argumentative, irrational and downright cruel. I kept trying the best I knew how to break through the alienation, hoping they would see the truth. I read books, listened to podcasts, watched YouTube videos, attended workshops and talked to my therapist about how to overcome this grievous and awful situation. I tried many strategies, to no avail. I became so exasperated and hopeless, I eventually mentally checked out. I decided that if my kids had food, shelter, clothing, education and medical care, then that was enough. Other than that, I was emotionally spent. I literally ran out of “give-a-damn.” If you haven’t experienced parental alienation, you’re probably gasping and thinking, “I could never give up on my child!”

If that’s you, it’s okay. I can see your perspective and I respect it.

But if you’ve been there, let me tell you that it’s okay. All feelings are okay. All emotions are mentionable and manageable. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t stay there.

I wish I had a fairy-tale ending to this story, but I don’t. Things got a little better after their dad remarried. I have a hunch that situation helped get his attention off our sons since he had a new person to placate him and wipe his butt. My oldest son is still estranged from me. My second now sees the truth, but struggles with MANY after-effects of trauma. My third is a self-centered person who “loves” me so long as I agree with him, placate him and give him whatever he wants. My fourth is the most well-adjusted; he and I have a wholehearted, connected relationship.

I’m fully convinced that every child prefers to have a loving, connected relationship with both of their parents when possible. When a parent intentionally (overtly or covertly) turns a child away from the other parent, it’s child abuse.

#ParentalAlienation

Provide for the child : Psychological Abuse via Narcissist Parent

I should tell you about treatment this Sunday over coffee. I’ll bet you all want to know how to fix things.

You can’t.

We cannot ask the child to reveal their authenticity until we can first protect the child from the withering psychological retaliation that is sure to follow from the pathological narcissistic-borderline-dark personalty parent.

We must first protect the child.

In all cases of child abuse, we must first protect the child. That’s called a “Safety Plan” and it precedes a Treatment Plan for all dangerous pathologies – suicide, homicide, abuse (child, spousal, elder).

The child has a problem. How does the child love both parents and receive the love of both? I’m most concerned about the child feeling loved by the parent, I want the child to feel loved by mom and by dad – both.

The pathological parent is forcing the child to choose sides in the spousal conflict. If the child tries to remain neutral… they’re on a “side” in the mind of the pathological parent – if the child does NOT reject the targeted parent, the child is on that parent’s “side” in the mind of the pathological parent.

The pathological parent is narcissistic; that’s an absence of empathy, the capacity for cruelty. The pathological parent is borderline; that’s a role-reversal feeding off the child.

They are Dark Triad, Vulnerable Dark Triad, and Dark Tetrad. That’s narcissistic, psychopathic, borderline, sadistic, and extremely manipulative.

These are highly toxic, highly malevolent, and highly manipulative humans. It’s important to understand the pathology – It’s important to understand the problem.

The pathological parent psychologically groomed and seduced the child into a cross-generational coalition. We must extract the child from the pathological relationship with the pathological parent.

We must first be able to protect the child from child psychological abuse by a pathological parent – a narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent.

How do you fix things? We start by protecting the child. Then what?

I should talk about then what. You’ll want court-adapted DBT. You won’t find that, clinical psychology is not in the family courts yet. You need the support of the mental health professionals – but there is none.

So… then what?

Those seem like pretty substantial barriers – we must first protect the child – you’ll need mental health support and there is none.

So… what do you do?

I should talk about that this Sunday over coffee – So? What do you do?

As the healthier parent, are there things you can do to help stabilize your child? How do you respond to the crazy false allegations, to the anger, to the supposed fear?

I should talk about that. I’ll bet you’d like to know more about what you can do in response to the child. But I don’t want to make it seem like there’s actual things you can do – this is child abuse, we must first be able to protect the child before we can ask the child to reveal their authenticity.

If I tell you ways to expose your child’s authenticity into re-bonding, then I’m only opening the child to increased child abuse by the pathological parent. You’ll be happier… at the expense of your child. You don’t want that.

So, what can you do?

You need professional support from professional psychology – they are the ones who should identify the pathology of child abuse and they are the ones who should fix it, i.e., treatment. But there is no support from professional psychology currently available. You are struggling within broken systems.

Forensic psychology is incompetent. Clinical psychology has abandoned you. The mental health system surrounding you is massively broken. That’s a problem.

You want to get OUT of the legal system as much as possible – this is NOT about custody, it’s about pathology, attachment pathology. You need a treatment plan to fix it. Move the issue into healthcare not the courts.

Then we generate a treatment plan – for that we need a diagnosis. We will need the mental health sector to diagnose the child abuse. They have duty to protect obligations, and the differential diagnosis for severe attachment pathology is child abuse by one parent or the other.

A child rejecting a parent is child abuse by one parent or the other, the only question is… which parent?

But what do you do in the meantime? How do you unravel the Gordian Knot you face? You can’t. We should talk about solutions to your situation with a knot that can’t be unraveled.

What do you as a parent do to solve the situation with your child when you’re with your child? We should talk about that.

Sunday 8:00am Pacific: Coffee w/ Dr. Childress 8:00 on Facebook Live.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Just takes 1 alienating parent to destroy a child’s happiness

The alienating parent seeks to lead and control. Their behaviours are incredibly selfish; they put their needs above everyone else’s, including their children. A healthy-minded, loving parent doesn’t do that, and most of us couldn’t have imagined anyone would be that cruel. We know children love and want both parents in their lives (until the campaign of denigration kicks off, usually triggered by separation/divorce). It takes us by surprise how much the alienating parent simply doesn’t care. Vengeance and ‘winning’ is more important to them. Typically, they are cluster b personalities (histrionic, borderline, narcissistic ..)

It can be argued, by some, that parental alienation does take two because without the ‘other’ there can be no triangulation. Some also suggest that we should have known better or had higher self-worth, or been less empathetic, kind-hearted, patient or tolerant.

But the simple fact remains; one parent alienates the other parent. It takes just one person. And they harm and destroy many with their actions. They know the moves because they’re highly manipulative. BUT when you empower yourself with an understanding of their behaviours, and the pathology behind it, you can learn to predict their next move, and even be one step ahead.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

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The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain.

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Dark Triad- Childress

The Dark Triad – the Vulnerable Dark Triad – and the Dark Tetrad are extremely malevolent humans.

The Dark Triad is 1) narcissistic, 2) psychopathic, 3) Machiavellian manipulation.

The Vulnerable Dark Triad is 1) vulnerable narcissism, 2) borderline, 3) Machiavellian manipulation.

Add sadism to the Dark Triad to become the Dark Tetrad – described by Book et al. as the “core of evil.”

The dark personalities are in the family courts and they are savaging the lives of the children, dark personality parents destroying their children for the dark purposes of a pathological parent.

The children are groomed by the pathological dark parent, the children are seduced and they surrender to the Machiavellian manipulation. The child is captured, the child is lost in the psychological abuse from a pathological parent.

Our goal is to protect all children from all forms of child abuse 100% of the time. In all cases of court-involved custody conflict involving severe attachment pathology displayed by the child, a proper diagnostic risk assessment for possible child abuse needs to be conducted to the appropriate differential diagnosis for each parent.

This is child abuse. This is spousal abuse using the child as the weapon. We must protect the child. We must protect the targeted spouse-and-parent from abuse by the pathological parent using the child as the weapon.

Children are not weapons. Children should never be used as weapons by one parent against the other.

The absence of empathy is the capacity for cruelty – the capacity for cruelty is evil – Baron-Cohen.

Baron-Cohen, Simon (2011). The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty. New York: Basic Books.

The dark personalities are at the core of evil – Book et al.

(Evil) – Book, A., Visser, B.A., and Volk, A.A. (2015). Unpacking ‘‘evil’’: Claiming the core of the Dark Triad. Personality and Individual Differences 73 (2015) 29–38.

(Evil) – Book, A., Visser, B.A., Blais, J., Hosker-Field, A., and Methot-Jones, T. (2016). Unpacking more “evil”: What is at the core of the dark tetrad? Personality and Individual Differences, 90, 269-272.

The dark personalities are in the family courts and they are savaging the children.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Inherited Bequests Trauma for a child – Craig Childress PsyD

From Shaw: “Exposure to parental narcissistic pathology constitutes cumulative relational trauma, which subverts the development of intersubjective relating capacities in the developing child. This trauma is inherited and bequeathed intergenerationally.” (p. 46)

Shaw, D. (2010). Enter Ghosts: The loss of intersubjectivity in clinical work with adult children of pathological narcissists. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 20(1), 46-59.

The pathology in the family courts is parental narcissistic-borderline-dark personality pathology. As professionals, both legal and mental health, we need to know where we are.

When we work in ADHD, there’s a set of factors that become part of the picture for that pathology, impulsivity, school behavior problems, medication trials. When we work autism there’s a set of factors that become part of that picture, ABA, special ed at school, sensory regulation.

When we work in the family courts surrounding high-conflict custody litigation, there’s a set of factors that are part of the picture. Parental narcissistic-borderline-dark personality spectrum pathology is a primary defining factor of the pathology.

In the family courts, we’re into the personality disorder spectrum of pathology – narcissistic-borderline-dark personalities; the Dark Triad, Vulnerable Dark Triad, Dark Tetrad.

The pathology in the family courts is a trauma pathology rippling through the family from prior generations. The trauma is currently contained in the personality pathology of the parent. The trauma pathology is being transferred intergenerationally to the child (Shaw, 2010).

The symptom of the trans-generational trauma is the attachment pathology in a parent-child bond. We know it’s a trauma pathology by the severity of the symptoms – trauma adds the adjective “extreme” to any symptom.

Extreme sadness, suicidality – trauma
Extreme anxiety, panic – trauma
Extreme anger, rage – trauma
Extreme behavior, out of control – trauma

When “extreme” is added to any situation, we’re in a trauma pathology. If you’re working with trauma pathology, you MUST know van der Kolk and complex trauma.

van der Kolk and others offer training for professionals in trauma and child development understanding related to complex trauma. Parents, you can take these courses as well. Knowledge is a wonderful thing to have.

NICABM Training
https://www.nicabm.com/

I’m a trauma psychologist out of foster care. I’ve worked child abuse and trauma up-close and personal. I know child abuse. I understand what trauma does.

I’ve also taken the courses offered through NICABM and placed them onto my vitae. I’m a role-model. I’m not an expert, I’m basic competence. If you’re working in the family courts… you should know as much as me.

If you’re working with child abuse and trauma and you don’t know as much as Dr. Childress does about child abuse and trauma, why not? Are you just lazy? Must be. Or don’t you think knowing what you’re doing is necessary to what you do?

Do you think you’re entitled to be ignorant?

You should know more than me. I’m the baseline, I’m the floor not the ceiling. I’m basic competence.

The lives of these children in the family courts hangs in the balance of our professional knowledge and competence. They deserve the highest caliber of professional knowledge and competence.

The highest.

The decision before the court is hugely momentous for determining the future life-course for a child. The court deserves the highest caliber of professional knowledge and competence to assist in its decisions.

The highest.

We have obligations. If that’s too hard, if you don’t want to be the best there is, then go work somewhere else, don’t come to the family courts. Here… we have obligations.

Bowlby – attachment. Know it.

Minuchin – family systems. Know it.

Beck – personality disorders. Know it.

van der Kolk – complex trauma.. Know it.

DSM-5 – know it – use it. Diagnose the pathology – V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse; V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological. Protect the child. Protect the parent.

We have obligations. The pathology in the family courts is a trauma pathology – narcissistic-borderline-dark personality pathology transferring trauma intergenerationally to the child through the pathogenic parenting that unresolved trauma creates.

In all cases of severe attachment pathology surrounding child custody conflict, a proper risk assessment for possible child abuse needs to be conducted to the appropriate differential diagnoses for each parent.

Google negligence: failure to take proper care in doing something

Trauma is pattern. Pattern repeats itself. Until we stop the trauma from repeating itself – we must protect the child.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857