It has been established that in most cases an Alienator is Narcissistic.
Despite its prevalence and devastating consequences, parental alienation remains one of the most misunderstood and underreported forms of abuse, sometimes, in itself, invalidated and maligned, with dire repercussions for families, and this, in turn, damages the very fabric of our societies.
At its core, parental alienation involves a distorted and toxic manipulation of familial relationships, particularly in the context of separation or divorce. It encompasses a spectrum of abusive behaviours, from emotional manipulation and coercive control to psychological abuse and child maltreatment. An alienating parent nefariously orchestrates it, but it can also involve step-parents, grandparents and others. Far too often, it’s further enabled by anyone, including professionals in the mental health and legal space, who doesn’t recognise and understand the dynamics behind the pathology. ‘Parental alienation’ is often disguised as love and protectiveness by a caring, concerned parent. In contrast, the more mentally healthy, ‘target’ parent who seeks peaceful resolution and a form of co-parenting can be mistaken for the agitator and the problem, particularly when the ‘voice of the child’ (coached and aligned with the alienating parent) has the last word. Sometimes, the ‘target’ alienated parent doesn’t even get to share their side of things. And this very divisiveness, this black-and-white thinking, is to the advantage of the triangulating (divide and conquer) adversarial parent in an adversarial situation. This is generalising, of course; there are many grey areas, and it’s not to say the alienating parent can’t sometimes act with genuine love, and the ‘target’ parent doesn’t sometimes, especially given the injustice, grief and anger, this situation evokes, act as the more emotional parent. The alienating parent, by contrast, can come across as calm, confident, charming … and this is before we throw narcissistic traits into the mix too
Furthermore, the targeted parent, unjustly maligned and emotionally battered, often faces the isolation of not being heard and understood and a labyrinthine legal and mental health landscape. The true extent of the abuse often eludes well-meaning professionals who may inadvertently contribute to the perpetuation of parental alienation due to a lack of awareness and understanding. Mental health professionals, legal practitioners, and communities must be equipped to recognise the signs, intervene effectively, and provide the necessary resources for healing and reconciliation. It’s a false economy not to invest in a better understanding and support for those caught up in ‘parental alienation’. The repercussions extend far beyond the immediate family unit when the harm it causes impacts communities, schools, and society at large. By acknowledging and addressing this form of abuse, we could pave the way for healthier, more connected societies where the sacred bonds of family are honoured and the well-being of children is prioritised above all.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedchild
#childpsychologicalabuse
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