Lonesome

This began before I was 35 , I was lonely for adult support and friendship in a trusting marriage .

It was very sad to acknowledge and live with , but healing lessons taught me , on my owness and a more equable relationship has not shown itself . I’m ok with that , I won’t know the detached , distorted abuse of past .

I haven’t been allowed to participate in anyway with 6 grandchildren as the trauma bond and emotional extortion prohibit growth, healing ❤️‍🩹 based on facts without drama .

Writing found from a nursing home resident.

“I am 82 years old, I have 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and a room of 12 square meters.

I no longer have a home or expensive things, but I have someone who will clean my room, prepare food and change my bedding, measure my blood pressure and weigh me.

I no longer have the laughter of my grandchildren around me, I don’t see them growing, hugging and arguing. Some come to me every 15 days, some every three or four months, and some never.

I don’t bake cakes anymore, I don’t dig up the garden. I still have hobbies and I like to read, but my eyes quickly hurt.

I don’t know how much longer, but I have to get used to this loneliness. Here at this home, I lead group work and help those who are worse than me as much as I can.

Until recently, I read aloud to an immobile woman in the room next to me, we used to sing together, but she died the other day.

They say life is getting longer. Why? When I’m alone, I can look at photos of my family and memories I brought from home. And that’s all. I miss them.

I hope that the next generations will understand that families are born to have a future (with children) and that they do not forget about the family even in old age.”

PLEASE DON’T FORGET YOUR LOVED ONES.