I discovered Sade, in the years of darkness
even in my induced addiction and trauma
that was evoked too often, feeling suspended
looking at myself from inside out. That trauma
spewed in fear, not only for myself but for our
sons..Through their eyes , I grew , with the
imbalance of a highly traumatized , silent man.
What was in my heart for him changed , I had
to step out of his nightmares , and unfortunately
became a junkie via the standards and practices
of a system whose credo is do no harm.
Much harm done is being righted , and it’s way
Just as I stand up for my rights , I have always
been inclusive . I failed . Always a failure , a mere
projection , and it’s closure to have more truths
than required , and to be ignored . However it
is my mission to stand , for Beloveds, Father’s
Brothers, Sons, Uncles , Grandfathers , whose
life long challenges to be seen, and heard , to
be abled to come from their hearts , to know
their exquisite value , and respond in responsibility
but not be the whole of anything but the vita
elements for the dance of alchemy ..
It is our right, and many have the mission of
unification on the 1st leg of Christ Conscious
humankind ” work” . I have known this since
1st grade , when Beloved Teddy moved , and
I mourned him…Dad’s work took him away
and my defense against boys was verbal.
Reasoning did not work, and so the brother
I was in charge of, responsible for split .
Already ” split ” from our trauma, a bond
of trauma, increased his mistrust of his entire
Reflecting on life, includes the bother of silence
fear and anger , and I do grasp his deep emotional
states , of what I know , and my intuition , he
has never known the Moon and the Sun.
Once touched , in the deepest soul , it’s found
a home, it matters not to pack your bags .