This post will resonate with those who understand the reality of what’s commonly known as parental alienation. The alienator is skilled and practised in telling us that we no longer have children, that we don’t deserve to see them, that we’re no good. If they can say such shocking, untrue things to us, just imagine the false narratives they are feeding others—and, most devastatingly, our children. And why? In short, and for the vast majority of us, it’s simply and most devastatingly, to punish us. In doing so, they are also punishing the children, tearing them away from a loving, willing, and available parent.They distort the child’s thinking, erode their beliefs, and attack any real connection.The divorce has nothing to do with the children, yet the alienator will try to turn an ex-partner into an ex-parent. This is not love. This is not healthy. This is disordered, selfish, and psychologically abusive behaviour.
Knowing the truth about the alienator and their behaviours doesn’t bring our children back, but it’s important to understand the pathology. It’s also vital not to react to their provocations and abuse, however tempting it may be. Because, at present, ‘parental alienation’ is not recognised as abuse in its own right. While coercive control, one of the alienator’s favoured methods, is recognised in many jurisdictions as abuse, mental health and legal professionals still focus on what is deemed ‘in the child’s best interests’. But when the child is indoctrinated, terrorised, and made to feel unloved/abandoned, their voice is no longer authentic. This is not a genuine expression of their will—it’s the result of manipulation/coercive control (abuse). It’s akin to Stockholm Syndrome, or even brainwashing. Still, the result of the indoctrination is what the experts often focus on when making their decisions, and to further complicate matters, false allegations are often thrown into the mix to delay progress.
Even though the child is coerced into aligning with the alienating parent, this was never their choice. If they had made this decision freely, it would be ‘estrangement,’ and some form of natural separation from home/parents is part of growing up, especially during adolescence. But children ideally want healthy relationships with both parents—not just with the bullying, alienating, and coercively controlling one. This is their right. Denying them this is abuse in itself.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#divorce
#divorced
#custody
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