Our problem is not that as children our needs were unmet, but that, as adults, they are still unmourned. In fact, neediness itself tells us nothing about how much we need from others; it tells us how much we need to grieve the irrevocably barren past and evoke our own inner source of nurturance. What was missed can never be made up for, only mourned and let go of. We are grieving the irretrievable aspect of what we lost and the irreplaceable aspect of what we missed. Only these two realizations led to resolution of grief because only these acknowledge, without denial, how truly bereft we were or are. From the pit of this deep admission that something is irrevocably over and gone we finally stand clear of the insatiable need to find it again from our parents or partner. To have sought it was to have denied how utter was its absence.
~ David Richo
[Art: Jennifer Parks http://www.spectralgardens.com%5D
I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse.
As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my
desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven.
I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are
denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child.
I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power..
I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination..
Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative".
It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..
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