An alienating parent will often engage in mirroring and projection. They are not the same thing.
Mirroring is when someone reflects back to you your own emotions or behaviours. When someone calls you “crazy” or “oversensitive” after you’ve expressed feeling upset, it could be considered mirroring because they are using those words to reflect the emotions they perceive in you, generally because they’ve triggered it. It is like holding up a mirror to your emotions and labelling them with those terms.
Projection is when someone attributes their own feelings, thoughts, or characteristics onto you. So if the alienating parent calls you “angry” or “controlling,” it could be that they feel or feel the need to be that way and unconsciously or consciously placing them onto you. It’s a defence mechanism where they distance themselves from their own feelings by attributing them to someone else.
In both cases, the person’s words and actions can be emotionally hurtful, especially if they use negative labels to dismiss or belittle you. These dynamics can be part of emotional abuse or manipulation. If you find yourself in a situation where someone uses hurtful language or manipulation, it’s important to prioritise your emotional well-being and consider seeking support from friends, family, or professionals.
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