An alienating parent is not providing unconditional love. They are controlling and behaving selfishly. A loving parent does not work towards eliminating the other parent, a loving, available, good parent (and often their extended family, too), from the child’s life because that is definitely not in the child’s best interests. In contrast, a ‘target’ (alienated/rejected) parent often ‘lets go’ because they love SO MUCH. This act of ‘letting go’ (or necessary detachment) is a powerful demonstration of genuine love because this parent refuses to play the alienating parent’s tug of war game if it creates further trauma and harm to their child. This is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Fear and control and anger, coercive control, indoctrination, lies and ‘brainwashing’ are not loving behaviours. The child is confused and enmeshed by the twisted narratives and lies they hear, and cognitive dissonance and splitting are coping mechanisms, as is their anger. The (alienated) children would like nothing more than for their parents to coexist and co-parent amicably, fostering a healthy environment for everyone’s mental and emotional well-being so they can get on with their lives. Even if parental harmony remains elusive, the toll of ongoing conflict on a child’s mental health is undeniable. Unfortunately, the alienating parent often remains indifferent to this toll. Unfortunately, they literally don’t care. However, as the child matures, they may come to realise the destructive nature of these actions, prompting a journey toward understanding, forgiveness, and healing. It’s of paramount importance to be strong, stay loving, and not succumb to angry, provoked reactions. Near or far, be the healthy-minded parent in the child’s life. Even if there’s no contact at the moment, focus on being happy, on being there whenever the child/adult knocks on your door again.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#alienatedparent
#narcissisticparent
#gaslighting
#emotionalabuse
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