Your child’s true nature is loving. So is yours. Believe it or not, it is the same for the alienating parent, the narcissistic abuser – love. They just lost their way. The alienating parent’s unloving, controlling, destructive, vengeful disordered pathological nature has come about through fear, through experiences in their past that remain unresolved and unhealed. And they are incredibly jealous of your love. They dread it because it’s powerful. What you need to do is remember your incredible loving nature and don’t let them dim your light with their dark, controlling ways and fear.
Fear has a way of distorting perceptions and causing people to react in ways that may not align with an innate loving nature. The experience of fear can lead to a desire to control others or situations to protect themselves. This control can manifest in various forms, such as manipulation, dominance, or jealousy.
Jealousy often arises when they perceive you still possess a capacity for love or experience fulfilling relationships. Despite their best endeavours to break you. They feel a sense of lack, a void, a disconnect from love. Instead of recognising and addressing their fears and insecurities, they project their envy onto you, onto anyone who seems to be confronting, challenging, or ego-wounding them.
Love and fear are opposing forces. Love encourages openness, empathy, and understanding, while fear often leads to closed-mindedness, defensiveness, and a need to control. Recognising and understanding the role of fear in unloving behaviours can be a starting point for personal growth and transformation. If the narcissistic abuser or alienating parent could address their fears and insecurities, and their pathological parenting, if they could take responsibility rather than blaming others, they too could reconnect with their ability to love. They would remember their child’s sovereignty and everyone’s sovereignty.
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