Little Girl Speak

“I am making the conscious choice, to live. It is a daily decision. It is soul aching bone breaking work. I crack open every day, and declare myself whole. I become one with this vision that I have deep inside. I steady my grip on hope, and I let it take hold of me. I let it encompass my entire being. I no longer allow myself to get lost in those dark places that still linger inside of me like venom; like poison. I have suffocated all of my fears, one by one. I have declared this war that I’ve been fighting against myself, as treason. I no longer betray my own skin; my own soul. I no longer have the desire to beat myself to death, over things I never should have known; over a shame, that was never my own. My self worth has risen, as I keep rising. And all of those haters who want to see me fail; they see it as so damn surprising. I’ve always been a fighter, right down to my very core. The only difference between now and then, is I’m not fighting against myself anymore. I taught myself how to walk through fire, and how to adapt and tolerate the burn. I subtracted all of the laughter and joy from my life, as if happiness was something I had to earn. Every day when I’m unable to shake this feeling that I’m unworthy of love; that I’m unworthy of this healing; I speak truth to my demons, and they run from their own feelings. They scatter like mice at the site of a lion. They cannot make sense, of my healing. But this isn’t about them, is it? It never really was. This is about my ability to see my own worth, when push really comes to shove. I see it. Oh I see it now. It screams at me every day. And just like the darkness once invaded my space; this truth isn’t going away. The truth, of who I am. The truth, that I deserve to be happy. The truth, that I deserve to be safe. The truth, that I deserve to be loved and adored. The truth, that happiness doesn’t need to be earned. The truth, that real love remains; the truth, that real love stays. I have walked so many roads alone, that somehow I forgot my own name. At some point on my journey of healing, every valley felt the same. But I’ve crawled my way up, out of the grave they buried me in; and now I’m here to reclaim. I am taking back everything they’ve stolen from me, and I’m giving myself a new name. I am taking my rightful place. I am the writer of my own story now. I am holding the pen, and the key. And nobody else gets to decide how this ends. Nobody else, but me.”

-Little girl speak

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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