Waiting for Change

HOW MUCH TIME AND HEARTACHE DID IT COST YOU, WAITING FOR AND IMAGINING THE NARCISSIST WOULD CHANGE? I wasted…wait for it…half my adult life! Time I can’t get back. A dead life filled with confusion and hurt.

I decided to put that behind me and to stop thinking about the past, and to try to have a good present and future. I asked myself, “What can I do today to make my life a little bit better?” I dated some…not much. When I decided to just concentrate on making my life better right now, and on my children, one day, about year later, I met the love of my life.

I had no hesitation about being friends. Everything went so easy. We got along well with our kids. Learned to laugh again and enjoy ourselves. Love grew out of that experience.

I used to use the metaphor “falling in love”, but now I think the better analogy is of a tree growing. When we met, a seed was planted, and soon sprouted, and as time passed, it began to grow. Trees grow slowly, but they can get very large…large enough to withstand anything. It was not how I imagined it would happen. But that’s what happened.

Now I think of love, not as excitement, but as quietly resting in the shade of the tree, protected by its outspread arms, smiling, laughing, caring, feeling totally secure in every respect…personally, emotionally, financially, and it every way. That’s love that lasts.

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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