Tag: relationships

“Man goes from one woman to another, goes on changing. People think he is a great lover; he is not a lover at all. He is avoiding, he is trying to avoid any deep involvement because with deep involvement problems have to be faced, and much pain has to be gone through. So one simply plays safe; one makes it a point never to go too deeply into somebody.

If you go too deep you may not be able to come back easily. And if you go deeply into somebody, somebody else will go deeply into you also; it is always proportionate. If I go very deep in you the only way is to allow you also to go that deep in me. It is a give and take, it is a sharing. Then one may get entangled too much, and it will be difficult to escape and the pain may be much. So people learn how to play safe: just let surfaces meet — hit-and-run love affairs. Before you are caught, run.

This is what is happening in the modern world. People have become so juvenile, so childish; they are losing all maturity.

Maturity comes only when you are ready to face the pain of your being; maturity comes only when you are ready to take the challenge. And there is no greater challenge than love.” Osho

At a certain age, you’ll stop longing for a companion.

You’ll stop insisting to join a lunch out when you’re not invited or feeling offended over a planned birthday surprise that no one told you about. You’ll learn not to stress over people and forced relationships. Instead, you’ll start enjoying your own company. You’ll stop feeling awkward over an empty seat in front of you in a café or a large bucket of popcorn all for yourself in a cinema. You’ll choose sleep over an uncommitted conversation, to stay at home and indulge yourself in classic movies than to force yourself to show up in a Friday night party just to blend in. You’ll learn to cross roads alone, take bus rides on your own, witness breathtaking views and enjoy once-in-a-lifetime experiences with yourself.

At a certain age you’ll learn that moments can also be fun and memorable even in your own company. That it’s never sad to explore life’s corners on your own, that’s its actually more fulfilling and freeing. At a certain age you’ll learn that you are not getting any younger and all you can do is to make every moment count. That life is a short but meaningful journey; and to make the most out of it, you have to stop waiting for someone to hold your hand and walk the road with you. You have get up and cherish the walk yourself.

– Ali

– Artwork : limduey via IG

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NON-NEGOTIABLE ACTS IN COUPLE

1. Always be faithful. Even if your partner has not been with you, don’t pay with the same coin. Respect yourself, don’t trample on your dignity and don’t make excuses or justify on the mistakes of the other person to clean up and justify your own decisions. Be honest above all. Don’t lie to yourself.

2. Don’t let your mind deceive you. Everything starts from the mind, control it; Example: “We’re just friends”, “Just a call”, “A little message”, “A coffee”, “It’s just work things”.

Lies! It’s the trap of deception. Be with integrity and loyal .

3. Don’t do to your partner what you wouldn’t want done to you. Respecting and respecting each other is key.

4. Don’t ignore or hide anything from your partner. Don’t give more importance to virtual “friendships” that will never be with you. The time you lose on the cell phone and social networks, apply it to living with your partner, in quality time. That has caused a lot of problems and breakdowns. Value and keep the peace in your relationship.

5. Never block the communication This is critical to conflict resolution. Learn to communicate, to listen, don’t interrupt, give space for your partner to express themselves without bothering you. Look for solutions, don’t provoke rocks just because you don’t like what you hear. Remember they are two and both should bring opinions and suggestions not just you.

6. Don’t sell out your mate. Don’t tell your partner’s intimacies to your female friends or friends.

7. Don’t be silent. Do not apply the ice law. Speak when you are calm; do not stop talking to your partner, do not build walls of pride and coldness.

8. Don’t go to bed angry. So you have anger and pain, give yourself forgiveness before sleeping. Let humility and love prevail.

9. Never shout under any circumstances.

10. Don’t exaggerate. (“Is that you always”, “is that you never”).

11. Don’t make important decisions alone; without agreeing (business, money, schools, changes, travel). Everything must be agreed and in a team.

12. If they already have kids, don’t fight in front of them. That causes psychological trauma and creates patterns of behavior that they will repeat as adults.

13. Don’t abuse the nobility of your partner. Don’t leave them more to do, don’t load their hand.

14. Don’t speak ill of your partner to third parties. Don’t ridicule her when she’s present; for example: “she snores horribly”, “she doesn’t know how to cook”, “she’s a bad friend”, “bad pay”, “drunk”, “bad lover”, “smells bad”. That’s psychological violence and you only project your own miseries.

15. Don’t lose sight of the details, nice words, be presentable to the couple, flatter, reinforce day to day.

16. Don’t refuse forgiveness when asked.

17. Think about separation when there are beating, physical and psychological abuse. May your life be in danger. Let there be infidelity; where respect and dignity is being lost for yourself.

18. Don’t talk about the past of either of you; who you dated, who you hung out with, don’t keep any communication with those people anymore. That’s past, respect your new relationship. And less bringing old fights or discussions into new problems, that is reopening the fight.

19. Don’t make comparisons between spouse and children, with other partners, children, friendships or acquaintances.

20. Build love together; talk, resolve, share, respect, understand, validate, not hide.