Charlie McCready

Enablers of Alienation via Narcissist -Charlie McCready

The alienating parent often seeks to create a support system comprised of people who enable, support and reinforce their behaviour. These enablers are like a cheerleading team, and they play a significant role in perpetuating the alienation. Here’s how this dynamic typically works:

The key enablers are willingly blind to the negative actions of the alienating parent. They demonstrate unwavering loyalty, refusing to acknowledge any wrongdoing.

Enablers consciously choose to ignore signs of manipulation or mistreatment. They might witness the alienating parent’s behaviour but deliberately turn a blind eye, allowing the alienation to continue unchecked.

Enablers are often submissive and easily controlled by the alienating parent. They may fear repercussions if they resist or question the alienator’s actions, leading them to comply passively.

Enablers might lack critical thinking skills or be naive, making them susceptible to the alienating parent’s persuasive tactics. They unquestioningly accept the distorted narrative presented by the alienator.

Crucially, enablers do not challenge the alienating parent’s agenda. They refrain from interfering even when they suspect that the alienator’s actions are harmful.

Enablers serve as cheerleaders, and their support reinforces the alienator’s belief that their actions are justified, making it increasingly difficult for the targeted parent and the alienated child to break free from the cycle of manipulation.

These enablers create a toxic echo chamber around the alienating parent, but why do they do it? Enablers support the alienating parent due to loyalty, fear, or manipulation, often gaining a sense of belonging, protection, or approval in return for their unquestioning allegiance.

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#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparent

#coercivecontrol

#traumabonding

#FathersRights

#mothersrights

#childrensrights

#parentalalienationisreal

#FamilyCourtReform

#FamilyCourt

#mothersmatter

#FathersMatterToo

#fathersrightsmovement

#FathersMatter

#custodybattle

#ChildCustody

#custody

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#gaslighting

#emotionalabuse

#enablers

Totally ignoring child’s needs / Charlie McCready

Parental alienation is, at its core, a profound attachment disorder where a child is psychologically manipulated to reject a parent they once loved. This is a form of psychological abuse rooted in coercive control, triangulation, and projection onto the alienated or ‘target’ parent. The alienating parent often engages in a cycle of deceit and manipulation, projecting unresolved personal issues onto the relationship between the child and the other parent. It’s a dynamic where the child’s genuine needs and emotional security are disregarded, with the alienating parent instead using the child as a tool to meet their own psychological needs.⁠

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Many of these behaviours are driven by traits associated with cluster B personality disorders, where characteristics like narcissism, deep-seated fear of abandonment, and hostility towards the other parent can foster an intense drive to “punish” that parent. The alienating parent cannot see beyond their own needs and vendettas, resulting in a delusional mindset where they feel justified in severing the bond between their child and the co-parent. This distorted view places their own emotional fulfilment above the child’s right to a healthy, loving relationship with both parents, disregarding the immense psychological harm it inflicts on the child.⁠

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I have been through the injustice, grief and trauma of alienation, and am totally invested in helping others. As well as my daily posts, I offer 1:1 coaching, and a 9-step program. I’m glad to say clients who do my program talk of gaining emotional and mental resilience and peace of mind, often within just a few weeks of starting. I help my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome and survive the many challenges. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, or you can visit my website.⁠

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#parentalalienationcoach

#ParentalAlienation

Charlie McCready- Not ok to bully child into rejection of other parent

Alienating parents often engage in destructive and bullying behaviours, projecting their own traits, unresolved issues and/or motivations (such as narcissism, a perceived need for revenge, selfishness, or financial gain) onto the targeted parent. Driven by jealousy, resentment, or a desire for control, they engage in destructive, disordered parenting and manipulate their child’s perception of the other parent. Their actions are rarely motivated by genuine concern for the child’s well-being.⁠

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These parents refuse to engage in healthy co-parenting and actively work to sever the child’s bond with the other parent. They may go to great lengths to remove the other parent from their lives and the child’s, too, denying them access and creating barriers to a meaningful relationship while fabricating reasons to justify their behaviour. They may also involve extended family members, isolating the child from an important part of their support and identity.⁠

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It’s essential to recognise that alienating parents rarely acknowledge the harm they cause. Not to us, not to the children, not to other family members or friends, and not to family courts, schools, police, or therapists. Most are unwilling to take responsibility or seek help. However, as children grow and mature, they often begin to see through the manipulation and recognise the truth. So hold strong, my friends. Remember that the truth has a way of coming to light, even in the most challenging circumstances.⁠

#charliemccready

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#alienatedparent

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Texas : Ruling on Parental Alienation

Parental alienation isn’t just emotional abuse—it’s a calculated campaign to erase a loving parent from a child’s life. And for too long, those behind it have hidden in plain sight, using the family courts as a weapon rather than a safeguard. But in Texas, something has shifted.

In a recent ruling—Stary v. Ethridge—the Supreme Court of Texas struck down a lifetime protective order that had banned a mother from any contact with her children, despite no clear or convincing evidence against her. The Court affirmed what alienated parents across the world have always known in their hearts: our presence in our children’s lives is not optional, or dependent on the goodwill of an ex-partner. It is a constitutional right.

This isn’t just a win for one family. The ruling sets a higher standard: from now on, no Texas court can impose long-term bans between parent and child without meeting the highest level of proof. This is justice inching closer to where it should be—though for many, tragically, it still comes too late.

If you’re a targeted parent in Texas, or anywhere, let this be a reminder: alienation thrives in silence and delay. You are not overreacting. You are not imagining it. If your child suddenly uses language that sounds rehearsed, if they repeat adult arguments they couldn’t possibly understand, if you’re constantly shut out of decisions, denied visits, or blamed for everything—that is not a child acting freely. That is a child caught in the grip of cognitive dissonance, ‘brainwashing’ … coercive control. It is child psychological abuse and spousal/partner psychological abuse.

I’m sure you are reading this because you know that parental alienation is a form of domestic abuse. Often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, denied, and incredibly poorly supported as a result. Courts in Texs can now, and must, consider the psychological abuse involved—modifying custody arrangements, ordering therapy, and holding alienating parents accountable. This is great news!

But none of this happens without action. Keep records. Stay calm. If you’re going the legal route (you might know my feelings about the current state of our family courts) seek advice from professionals who understand the damage alienation causes. And never, ever let someone convince you that your child is better off without you, just because the current system hasn’t caught up with this truth yet.

Your love and resilience matters—more than alienating parents would ever want to admit.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#traumabonding

Parental alienation is the weapon of choice for vengeful exes—an underhanded, deliberate campaign of psychological abuse that they’ll never admit to, because doing so would be admitting to harming their children. They hide behind false claims and lies, painting themselves as the victim while turning their child’s vulnerability, confusion and innocence into a twisted allegiance built on deceit. It’s not just the other parent they’re erasing; it’s the child’s right to love and be loved by both parents.⁠

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And what’s truly infuriating is that too many people believe them. The system—the family courts, mental health professionals, schools, police, child services …. are too quick to swallow their story, turning a blind eye to the manipulation and betrayal happening right under their noses. The truth is; parental alienation is a hidden form of child abuse that rips families apart, leaving targeted parents feeling powerless and children suffering too, whether they realise it or not – many do later when they see the bigger picture, see through the lies and coercive control. ⁠

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More previously alienated children are coming forward, which helps validate the experience that so many want to deny is real. Parental alienation (though it can be called many other things – an attachment disorder, pathogenic parenting, hostile aggressive parenting, intractable contact, narcissistic parenting, disordered parenting, malicious parent syndrome, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, domestic partner abuse, child psychological abuse, spousal abuse, domestic violence, family bond obstruction or child alienation …) is real, and mothers and fathers inflict it and it is suffered too by children, mothers and fathers – and grandparents. All over the world. We need to be united on this. ⁠

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It is slowly (too slowly) becoming more globally recognised as hugely damaging to millions of children and their parents. The scientific papers are definitely moving in the right direction for us, towards the identification and categorisation of alienating behaviours being intimate terrorism, family violence and child abuse. All denials of parental alienation are nothing more than an insult to those of us who experience it as a daily reality. Legal and mental health professionals need to get up to speed so they can identify alienating behaviours by the ‘aligned’ parent, spot the signs in the enmeshed/indoctrinated/terrorised child, deter it from continuing, and take fast action against it.

If you are going through parental alienation, know you’re not alone. I’ve been through it myself. Personally and professionally, I have over 20 years of experience. I am reunited with my children and here to offer support with daily posts on social media and also with the coaching I offer. Please feel free to reach out to me at any time.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#coparentingwithanarcissist

#CoerciveControl

#traumabonding

Continued Domestic Abuse via PA

Parental alienation is a deeply harmful form of psychological abuse and coercive control, making it a clear instance of post-separation domestic abuse. Yet the term itself has been deliberately distorted by groups with ideological and financial motives, often because statistical patterns show that more fathers experience it than mothers. However, this is not, and never has been, a gendered issue. It affects countless devoted parents—both mothers and fathers—who are unjustly torn from their children’s lives by manipulation and control.⁠

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At its core, parental alienation is an abuse of power. The parent with primary residency is typically in the strongest position to alienate the child, preying on their most primal fear: abandonment. But alienation is not exclusive to resident parents—non-resident parents can also engage in these tactics. Children, caught in the crossfire, are coerced into rejecting one parent to secure the approval of the other, often without realising how they are being manipulated. The psychological consequences are severe and long-lasting. Adults who were alienated as children are now speaking out, confirming the devastation they endured. Ignoring their testimonies only serves to protect those who inflicted the harm.⁠

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Despite its severity, parental alienation has yet to be formally recognised in the UK as the child protection issue it so clearly is. Initially, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 acknowledged alienating behaviours within its draft statutory guidance, listing clear examples of coercive control that align with parental alienation. However, after just over 1,000 responses to a public consultation, these references were removed in July 2022. This wasn’t because the harm was disproven—it was a political decision, driven by those who find the term ‘contentious.’ Even organisations such as Women’s Aid acknowledge that these behaviours are abusive, yet they continue to reject the term ‘parental alienation’ itself, leaving alienated parents fighting an uphill battle in family courts.⁠

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The truth is, parental alienation is already reflected in existing legal definitions of domestic abuse. The Domestic Abuse Act explicitly identifies coercive and controlling behaviours, including isolating a victim from supportive family and professionals, blocking communication, using children as weapons of control, making threats, and inflicting psychological harm. Yet despite these behaviours being recognised in law, many professionals still fail to connect them to the reality of parental alienation, leaving children unprotected from its devastating effects.

History shows that abusive behaviours often go unchallenged until enough people demand change. Marital rape was once dismissed as a private matter. Coercive control took years to be legally recognised. Now, alienated children are beginning to break free and reclaim their voices—not the ones shaped by fear and coercion, but their true, authentic voices. More of them are reaching out, joining my coaching calls with their targeted parents, and confirming what we have always known: parental alienation is real. The tide is turning. Recognition is coming. Hold strong.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#domesticabuseawareness

#childpsychologicalabuse

#alienatedchild

Parental Alienation & Personality Disorders -Charlie McCready

The link between personality disorders, codependency, and parental alienation reveals a complicated web of psychological interactions. Parents with personality disorders, particularly Cluster B personality disorders like narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, and antisocial personalities, often exhibit extreme and erratic behaviours that can significantly impact their children. These disorders are characterised by difficulties controlling anger, vindictiveness, impulsive outbursts, rage when criticised, lack of empathy, and aggressive behaviour. Parents who emphasise the faults and flaws of the other parent, create an environment where children feel compelled to align with them (the emotionally unstable parent) in an attempt to placate them. This behaviour contributes to alienating children against the other parent over time. Parents with personality disorders tend to overlook their own problematic behaviour, making it challenging to acknowledge their contribution to any problems.

Co-dependency, which often results from insecure attachment patterns, can further intensify the negative impact of parental personality disorders. Co-dependent people (parents) tend to derive their sense of self-worth from others (their children), making them susceptible to enabling or engaging in alienating behaviours. This perpetuates a cycle of emotional turmoil for children caught in the crossfire.

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#parentalalienationcoach

#codependency

#attachmentdisorder

Attachment Disorder in Parental Alienation

Children with Secure Attachments feel supported and protected, possessing self-respect and trust in their close relationships, fostering positive interactions with others and academic success. However, when subjected to parental alienation by a narcissistic/borderline parent with disorganised attachment tendencies, the child experiences emotional manipulation and psychological abuse. This engenders anxiety-driven attachment behaviour triggered by the “target” parent’s presence or mention, leading the child to respond in ways pleasing to the alienating parent and resulting in the absence of secure attachments.⁠

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Parental alienation disrupts the attachment cycle, eroding the child’s trust in themselves, the world, and others, ultimately fostering an insecure or disorganised attachment style. Insecure, anxious children become hypervigilant around parents, hoping for loving moments while guarding against potential hurt.⁠ Lacking empathy, alienating parents may not recognise their child’s anxiety unless mirroring their own. The perceived threat lies in the child’s relationship with the ex-spouse and their proximity. The alienating parent conditions the child to soothe their anxiety, inducing symptoms when mentioning the targeted parent, reinforcing that their attention comes when rejecting the other parent, detrimentally affecting the attachment relationship.⁠

Alienating parents amplify the child’s stress, grief, and confusion while projecting blame on the targeted parent, damaging attachment bonds and leading to detachment. However, this adaptive behaviour can turn maladaptive if habitual or extreme.⁠

Insecure, avoidant children may learn that emotional closeness is unsafe, fostering extreme independence. Children manipulated into denigrating a parent often experience guilt, internalising blame. Alienating parents suppress the child’s grief by attributing negative emotions to the targeted parent, inducing blame and distancing for self-preservation. Many children conditioned to believe the alienating parent due to survival instincts, are unsure who to trust – themselves or their parent.

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#mothersrights

#fathersrights

Lawyers & Parental Alienation- Charlie McCready

Does anyone care to comment? When I have more time, I’d like to gather more data on what alienated parents have actually experienced in the family court system. How long did it take? What was the outcome? How much money was spent? Did it lead to reunification? If the court ordered contact, was it enforced—and if so, how did that go?

Alienated parents often pour their life savings into a legal system they once believed would protect their rights and their children’s well-being—only to emerge financially drained, emotionally shattered, and, in many cases, no closer to justice.

This highlights the urgent need for reform. Lawyers dealing with these cases should be trained to recognise attachment disordered parental alienation – the false narratives and coercive, manipulative behaviours that drive it. The legal system must do better, not only for parents who are being erased from their children’s lives but, most importantly, for the children themselves—caught in a battle they never chose.

Perhaps we expect too much. Perhaps we should know better by now. After all, injustice isn’t confined to family courts or parental alienation. Look at the wider world—those who commit crimes often walk free, while those who expose them suffer the consequences. The alienated parent is no different: seeking truth in a system that too often fails to protect the innocent while enabling the abuse.

I don’t mean to sound cynical. I try to stay focused on solutions. But we shouldn’t have to ‘fight’ to see our own children in a court of justice—because we are not criminals. We are parents. Parental alienation isn’t simply a legal matter; it’s a psychological and relational issue—one that the law is often ill-equipped to handle. And for many, prolonged legal action is not only financially impossible but also emotionally destructive. While sometimes necessary, court should be a last resort, used only when every other effort to protect a child’s well-being has been exhausted.

If you are going through what’s commonly known as ‘parental alienation’, know you’re not alone. I’ve been through it myself. Personally and professionally, I have over 20 years of experience. I am reunited with my children and here to offer support with daily posts on social media and also with the coaching I offer. Feel free to reach out to me anytime.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#parentalalienation

#FamilyCourtReform

The Alienating Parent thinks they are a good person

Abusive people who lie, cheat manipulate, and hurt others with impunity, and no accountability or guilt, sometimes actually think of themselves as victims. No matter how badly they treat people, it’s not their fault. It’s your fault. In fact, the problem probably started when you started noticing their abuse. And to add to this problem, the fact they get away with their abuse, without facing punishment or consequences, the fact they can carry on, in their minds, justifies their behaviour. The alienating parent often genuinely believes they are right and good. Wow!

The concept of cognitive dissonance can help us get our heads around this. To resolve any discomfort from being ‘in two minds’, people tend to either adjust their beliefs or justify their actions. The alienating parent may engage in self-justification, convincing themselves that their actions are for the child’s well-being. They may genuinely believe that they are protecting the child from the other parent’s perceived harm or influence. This self-justification can lead them to see their behaviour as morally justified. They also often adopt a victim mentality, perceiving themselves as hard done by or failed or hurt in the past, and this somehow excuses/accounts for their current behaviour. It can also lead them to cast blame on you. It is a way of deflecting responsibility. They deny and project their negative qualities onto you, rather than face their own flaws and shortcomings. Some alienating parents lack self-awareness and may not recognise the harm they’re doing to their children. The alienating parent typically resists counselling or any situation where they may have to confront their behaviours, and in this way, they can carry on in their belief that they are right, and you are wrong.

While I hope this explanation helps shed light on the mindset of abusive or alienating individuals, it does not justify, excuse or condone the harm they cause to others, especially children caught in the middle. My wish is that if you understand these psychological dynamics, it can be enlightening, even empowering, enabling you to navigate the situation with more clarity and compassion, both for yourself and for your child. Most importantly, know that you are not alone, and there is hope for positive change. The love and bond you share with your child can endure, even in the face of alienation. Stay resilient, focus on your child’s well-being (where you can), and yours too, and believe in the possibility of reunification and healing in the future. Your unwavering love and commitment can significantly impact your child’s life. Strive to be happy.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedparent

#FamilyCourt

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