Alienated Children – Lack of self love

Parental alienation can lead to children distancing themselves emotionally and physically from one parent due to the influence and manipulation of the other parent. The child’s response to this complex situation includes severing contact and adopting a defensive, even hostile stance toward the ‘target’ parent. This strategy serves as a mechanism to navigate the loyalty conflicts and psychological pressures they experience. This inadvertently compels the child to suppress their genuine emotions and authentic self, as they prioritise gaining the approval of the alienating parent to maintain a semblance of peace and stability. The child may internalise the negative narratives about themselves and their alienated parent promoted by the alienator, leading to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, self-blame, and diminished self-worth. ⁠

Children have limited perspectives. Unconsciously, they may believe that any abuse they get from their parents is deserved because it’s their fault. When ignored or their needs and interests are neglected, a child can believe it’s because they’re not good enough. Or that they’re difficult, a nuisance, a problem. If nothing is done to correct these erroneous beliefs, the child will believe they’re true, and the lack of self-worth and the general self-loathing they feel for themselves may be reinforced. It’s not the child that is the problem, but the parenting. This, unfortunately, is how dysfunctional parenting from an unhealed parent can get passed on to the child. ⁠

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These internal conflicts and loss of self-love, combined with the desire to maintain attachment to an alienating (abusive) parent, can suppress feelings for the targeted parent. This may not be forever. The love for the alienated parent can endure despite the manipulation and psychological pressures inflicted upon them. Love, as a force, can prevail over the influence of hate and manipulative abuse. ⁠

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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