Perhaps one of the hardest things in the world is discovering the true face hidden behind the mask of someone you hold dear—and being unable to accept it. Knowing everything yet pretending to know nothing.
After immense pain, betrayal, and broken trust, not everyone can scream in anger, cry their eyes out, or forgive generously. Nor does everyone possess the extraordinary strength to seek revenge. Some are left with a vague, intense sense of hurt—silent, unspoken, and deeply personal. A cold, bloodless battle fought within oneself.
In this battle, one must endure countless sleepless nights of unbearable agony. There are moments when one feels unbearable even to themselves, exhausted from trying to convince their own heart. The cruel stabs of shattered trust gnaw at the mind. And when you try to walk away from the relationship, stepping over the shards of broken trust to find peace, they shift the entire blame onto you. Their eyes show no remorse. They treat you as if you are the betrayer.
But they never understand the struggle of walking away from a heart where, at one time, you sought refuge in God’s name. They can’t comprehend the mental agony, the powerless days, the pain of sleepless nights, the fire in your tear-dried eyes, or the silent screams tearing through your chest. They don’t realize how a lively person—once someone who tried to spread joy in everyone’s life—becomes an empty shell, alive yet lifeless. They don’t understand, nor do they want to.
Sometimes, you feel like collapsing into someone’s arms and crying your heart out. You long to share your deepest wounds, to find a bit of solace. You yearn for someone to comfort you with oceans of affection, to caress your head and soothe the blazing fire in your heart with tender love. You wish for your sleepless eyelids to finally find rest in a blissful slumber.
Yet, like a fallen star, we never meet those things again—not the stories, not the love, not the relationships, nor the people. All that remains are sighs and an endless emptiness, scattered like fragrant autumn flowers along the path of life.
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