Being an alienated parent is brutal. It’s a unique trauma, leaving you caught between deep grief, searing injustice, and the unrelenting confusion of watching those who should support you turn a blind eye. It’s not just about losing a child; it’s about facing spousal or partner psychological abuse, which in turn becomes psychological abuse against your child. And despite this, if you choose to stay kind, to refuse to let bitterness corrupt you, to remain open-hearted despite your pain—that, in the words of Keanu Reeves, makes you a true badass. And I agree.
Keanu Reeves is no stranger to tragedy. Having lost his best friend, his partner, and their unborn child, he could have succumbed to bitterness and isolation. Instead, he became known for his humility, kindness, and resilience. His quote speaks to your journey, if you are an alienated parent (step-parent, grandparent, or child). Despite being ‘brutally broken’, the courage to keep showing up, offering love, and being a safe harbour for others is a powerful statement of your amazing, strong, beautiful character.
In a world that often misjudges the alienated parent, where your efforts are dismissed or misunderstood, choosing to still show compassion and not lash out takes incredible strength. Like Reeves’ iconic roles, where characters break free from oppressive systems—like in The Matrix—alienated parents must summon that inner resolve, facing a relentless enemy not with anger, but with unwavering integrity.
If you follow my posts, you’ll know I’m a big fan of The Matrix. I often compare the experience of an alienated child to that of being trapped in the fabricated world of the film. The alienating parent constructs an ‘unreality’ and the child is programmed to believe a distorted version of the truth. They’re caught in a world where up is down, love is hate, and rejection is loyalty. Like stepping out of The Matrix, the day they finally take their own ‘red pill’ and see the truth will be disorientating and painful. But you, standing steadfast in your love, are the lifeline they need when they’re ready to break free.
It’s the hardest path to take—to keep being gentle when the world has been anything but. Yet by doing so, you not only hold space for your child’s eventual awakening but also set yourself free from the trap of reactive anger and despair. True strength is knowing your worth without needing others to acknowledge it, and offering love without expecting anything in return.
In choosing to embody the strength and gentleness Keanu describes, you’re not just surviving—you’re transforming grief into power, and that makes you a true badass with the heart of an angel.
NB: Hollywood attracts people with talent—and a fair degree of narcissism too. Beneath the glitz and glamour, it’s a world full of manipulation, deceit, and image control. Many stories are now emerging about abuse, blackmail, and betrayal in an industry where ruthless self-interest is often the norm. While shocking, I hope this exposure is part of the detox the world needs. But even in such darkness, there are a few lights—you are one of them.
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#parentalalienationawareness
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