I lived through and overcame what we commonly call “parental alienation.” Mine was (on the scale through mild and moderate) in the severe range. I endured lies, constant criticism, emotional and financial abuse, damaged property, and work suffering under the weight of the stress. For over 10 years of a so-called marriage, I faced a living nightmare. Many of us feel we can tolerate it for the sake of our children. Even if we anticipate that the madness will escalate if we leave, most of us have no idea just how far an alienating parent is prepared to go until it’s actually happening. Nor do many of us realise the weaponising and parentifying of our children may have been going on for some time already, and worse, our children are enmeshed, and don’t know they’re being psychologically manipulated and abused, and that what’s going on is disordered pathogenic parenting from the parent coercively controlling them, turning them against us. It’s heartbreaking to witness the extent of their psychological ‘splitting’ and cognitive dissonance – where they cope by viewing one parent as all good, the victim/hero, an the other as all bad, bearing the full weight of the projection and blame. It’s hard to cope with the lies, false narratives and terrible loss to ourselves, and our children (who do not even realise their loss).
Alienating a child from a parent is psychological abuse. Alienators—whether mothers, fathers, or other family members—are abusive, destroying the natural attachment bond between a loving parent and their child. To those of you reading this because you or someone you love is enduring this tremendously challenging and needless ordeal: it can be overcome – you can survive. I did, and you can too. Focus on the present, not the past; on love, not loss. Nurturing your own well-being is essential, not only for you but also for your children. Alienated children sometimes carry a terrible burden of doubt, guilt or shame, even grief when they find out what’s actually happened. Seeing you happy, healthy, and thriving, with healthy boundaries, offers them relief and shows them the way back to a loving parent.
Whether you’re in contact with your children or not, you can get through this—and doing so is a gift both to yourself and to them. I’m here to help. My coaching is dedicated to supporting alienated mothers, fathers (sometimes with supportive partners joining us, too). Please do reach out if you’d like to learn more about the coaching I offer.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#highconflictcoparenting
#custody
#narcissisticabuseawareness
#parentalalienationischildabuse
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 