Jealousy sometimes stems from the alienating parent’s feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. They may perceive the ‘target’ parent as threatening their self-image and desire to control. The ‘target’ parent’s positive qualities, ability to bond with the children, and any attention they receive from the children may trigger feelings of inferiority. To compensate for these feelings, the alienating parent may resort to tactics like character assassination, false allegations, coercive control, limiting contact, triangulation, the silent treatment/isolation, withholding information, parentification, gaslighting, negative projection, inconsistent rules, undermining parental authority and psychological manipulation to damage or sever the ‘target’ parent’s relationship with the children.
These actions are actually defensive! Hard to believe, and they are of course, abusive. Essentially, the alienating parent – often with narcissistic traits/borderline and unwilling to address their issues – wishes to protect a fragile self-esteem. By vilifying the ‘target’ parent, they attempt to maintain a sense of superiority and control over the situation (and the children). This behaviour manifests their internal struggles and need to validate their self-worth, even at the expense of the children’s well-being.
Jealousy is the feeling of wanting something that someone else possesses, whether it’s a material possession, an attribute, a relationship (with your children in this case), or an achievement (especially being happy, being loving), and having a sense of dissatisfaction because they perceive themselves as lacking that particular thing. It’s worth remembering this when you feel down. They are jealous of you. A lot of their psychologically abusive behaviour often stems from this.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
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