Dealing with the rudeness, insults, and rejection from an alienated child can be incredibly challenging and emotionally distressing for a parent. Hard as it is sometimes (and believe me, I know!) we must try to remember their behaviour and their words don’t stem from them. This was downloaded like a software programme, it was inflicted on them. It was repeated until they believed this programme was their own creation. The child acts out of trauma-bonded loyalty and enforced alignment. That can be really irritating and upsetting to witness, but they’re not aware of it. We are the ‘target’ and often it’s only us who sees it. That’s also difficult for us to cope with! So, unpacking all this, we have to remember that deep down, hidden and dormant maybe, our children love us. They’ve just been told they shouldn’t or can’t. Isn’t that appalling? It’s tragic for them as much as for us. They’re victims of this abuse too. They might be confused and in emotional turmoil. It’s hard growing up at the best of times. This adds a huge amount of pressure.
Meanwhile, take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Focus on what you can control. Keep communication channels open if that’s possible (often it’s not). Engage in activities that bring you joy and provide support through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family. Prioritise your well-being to ensure you have the strength to navigate the difficult emotions associated with alienation. I’m here for you if you want to get some 1-2-1 coaching or take a look at my 9-step program. My posts are daily to inform, spread awareness and uplift. You’re not alone in going through this. Remember that healing from parental alienation takes time and is a complex and deeply emotional process. By adopting a compassionate and understanding mindset, seeking support, and prioritising your well-being, you can navigate the challenges, become more resilient and maintain hope for the future.
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