In order to be my best,
I cannot let everything I see slide.
I also have to choose my battles,
As every situation is unique,
And deeply more complex than the eye can see;
But I have come to understand how difficult it can be to make better choices for ourselves.
Sometimes it is not as easy as just a choice.
As one of my first examples growing up;
The “food” me and my family ate as a kid was the first thing that affected me in later years,
And as I become aware and made more conscious choices around the food I was eating,
The more I tried to make my family aware.
This kicked up a lot of dirt in our relationships,
And as they clung to their lifestyle,
I further branched off into a different path.
After many years of battling this,
It eventually became clear that,
Even though it affects their health,
They won’t be able to make a change until their lives are at an even greater risk with their health.￼
That was and is easier/better for them,
Until it’s not anymore.
I love them to death and don’t treat them any differently than anyone else,
and we now have a great relationship once I found a balance within myself,
And stopped trying to change everyone.
Living as an example is truly more power than trying to convince anyone of anything.
Though words have their moments to shine.
It’s because of this pattern though,
that I used to think that people just didn’t care about their health
But it’s far deeper than that,
And much more difficult to address,
Without addressing deeper societal roots.
Most people are addicted to the societal lifestyle that we were born into,
even though we may have leaned to a different extreme within that in our later years.
We are deeply apart of what is killing us,
And we think it it is okay on some level.
It is easy to feel that way,
But the deeper I look,
The more I realize,
Something has to give.
I am not talking about just one area of life,
But all areas that can be improved.
(And all areas CAN be improved).
In fact for anything to improve fully,
All areas have to ￼change.
To care is to change everything,
And the truth is,
Once you start pulling roots;
There is no going back.
So most stay right where they are,
In the comfort zone.
It hurts so much to see people I love doing harm to themselves without a willingness to even look at it,
And after years of being laughed at (even by my own family) because I wanted to do better,
And being in conflict with myself for years over the way my life has had to go for me to gain proper perspective in my ability to create lasting change;
I can now stand in the testimony that my desire for that change has created in my life and others.
I can say with confidence that ￼I have helped prevent a significant number of suicides,
and can directly see how affective we can be when we believe in ourselves and our influence in the world.
It is easier to stay in the same old rut,
Than it is to start to see and become different;
And until we catch a spark of inspiration from somewhere to shift the tides of our lives;
We can easily and unknowingly remain in that rut.
I say all of this,
Not because I am better than anyone out there making any kind of choices,
or that I need any type of credibility;
But because it hurts to see my people causing harm to themselves and each other.
It is difficult to stand by to witness, feel, and bear the pain of our ignorance.
I look into the dark tunnel and see why it is this way,
I have no question as to why we are like this.
Which is why I can’t set integrity aside,
So that we can continue down the same path.
I am not here to save the world,
But while I am alive and affecting it,
I am going to leave the biggest imprint I can.
I have to.
I was created for it.
My choices are my own,
And I am doing my best;
Watching every pattern I can get my eyes on,
And still make enough mistakes that it worries me even more that some people don’t even try.
Though therein lies the mystery,
That even the person we would judge as the absolutely most asleep person,
Can be far more than we see,
And can turn around to change everything.
I have seen it happen.
SO! If you see something so clearly that can make this world even an ounce better than it is,
and it is calling you to pursue it;
answer that call despite how difficult the odds look.
It is easy to fall back into complacency,
And most will support you in it;
That is all too clear.
Talking to myself when I say;
Put down the phone,
Turn off the T.V.
And address the deeper layers of yourself,
And the world we live in.
I forgive myself,
And get on with it. ￼
Sing a song while you rebuild,
And have some fun.
Our time here is truly significant,
and whether we realize it or not,
It doesn’t matter if we are killing each other,
or helping each other;
we are still doing it together.