Moving on from the anguish of parental alienation is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a conscious effort and resilience, as grief, injustice and anger can have a powerful hold on us, keeping us tethered to both the past and the present pain. Parental alienation is often described as a living bereavement. It’s ongoing. It’s unfinished business. But however difficult it may be, choosing to move forward is often the best course of action.
Parental alienation is profoundly isolating and traumatic, made worse by the fact that it is widely misunderstood and poorly supported. In some circles, it’s outright denied. The lack of recognition and action raises an obvious question—why is nothing being done? The reality is that the legal system, as it stands, often serves its own interests rather than prioritising the well-being of families. It operates on delay, deflection, and bureaucracy, allowing alienation to take hold while the targeted parent fights a ever steepening uphill battle. Even when alienation is recognised, enforcement is weak or non-existent.
While parental alienation may become a legal battle, at its core, it is an attachment disorder caused by pathogenic parenting—deeply unhealthy, psychologically damaging, and rooted in coercion, manipulation, and control. It is not a normal parent-child dynamic; it is an induced psychological condition that thrives on fear, guilt, and distorted loyalty.
Now, let’s talk about the alienating parent and their pursuit of revenge. This is what drives many of them. Their actions are not grounded in love or concern for the child but in a pathological need to control and punish. They draw others into their conflicts, creating division and chaos. Their wounded ego demands retribution—especially against the “target” parent, who may have exposed the truth about them or triggered their own abandonment issues. But there’s no excuse. They should be working through their issues, not destroying their child in the process. Instead, they refuse accountability. They project, manipulate, and engage in coercive control, turning their own children into unwitting pawns in their vendetta.
This is narcissistic parenting at its most destructive—erasing the child’s ability to form secure, healthy attachments and forcing them into an unnatural psychological alignment with the alienating parent. And yet, what’s striking is how these people remain stuck in a cycle. They don’t change. They don’t grow. They repeat the same toxic patterns.
Who would want to be like the alienating parent with their lives full of manipulation, deceit, and emotional abuse? Their existence is a façade, a charade built on falsehoods, and their actions perpetuate suffering for all around them. We got out of their lives, and we await our children realising why we did this and that maybe they should do the same.
Reach out if I can help you, as I’m helping many others, with the coaching I offer.
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