Parental alienation is a deeply harmful form of psychological abuse and coercive control, making it a clear instance of post-separation domestic abuse. Yet the term itself has been deliberately distorted by groups with ideological and financial motives, often because statistical patterns show that more fathers experience it than mothers. However, this is not, and never has been, a gendered issue. It affects countless devoted parents—both mothers and fathers—who are unjustly torn from their children’s lives by manipulation and control.
At its core, parental alienation is an abuse of power. The parent with primary residency is typically in the strongest position to alienate the child, preying on their most primal fear: abandonment. But alienation is not exclusive to resident parents—non-resident parents can also engage in these tactics. Children, caught in the crossfire, are coerced into rejecting one parent to secure the approval of the other, often without realising how they are being manipulated. The psychological consequences are severe and long-lasting. Adults who were alienated as children are now speaking out, confirming the devastation they endured. Ignoring their testimonies only serves to protect those who inflicted the harm.
Despite its severity, parental alienation has yet to be formally recognised in the UK as the child protection issue it so clearly is. Initially, the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 acknowledged alienating behaviours within its draft statutory guidance, listing clear examples of coercive control that align with parental alienation. However, after just over 1,000 responses to a public consultation, these references were removed in July 2022. This wasn’t because the harm was disproven—it was a political decision, driven by those who find the term ‘contentious.’ Even organisations such as Women’s Aid acknowledge that these behaviours are abusive, yet they continue to reject the term ‘parental alienation’ itself, leaving alienated parents fighting an uphill battle in family courts.
The truth is, parental alienation is already reflected in existing legal definitions of domestic abuse. The Domestic Abuse Act explicitly identifies coercive and controlling behaviours, including isolating a victim from supportive family and professionals, blocking communication, using children as weapons of control, making threats, and inflicting psychological harm. Yet despite these behaviours being recognised in law, many professionals still fail to connect them to the reality of parental alienation, leaving children unprotected from its devastating effects.
History shows that abusive behaviours often go unchallenged until enough people demand change. Marital rape was once dismissed as a private matter. Coercive control took years to be legally recognised. Now, alienated children are beginning to break free and reclaim their voices—not the ones shaped by fear and coercion, but their true, authentic voices. More of them are reaching out, joining my coaching calls with their targeted parents, and confirming what we have always known: parental alienation is real. The tide is turning. Recognition is coming. Hold strong.
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