Alienating behaviours include what’s known as parentification. Signs of this will be when a child shows signs of parenting one of their parents (the alienating one). The child knows far too much about what should be purely adult problems or concerns. Also, the child feels responsible for the well-being of the parent – a role-reversal. It could be that the child feels guilty because the alienating/aligned parent makes them feel they’ve sacrificed for the child. Or they’ve been trauma bonded through shared persecutory delusions. It is, of course, psychologically abusive. All children, especially the alienated enmeshed child, should be free to be themselves, to ‘find themselves’, to self-realise, and develop a separate identity. This is an important goal of adolescence onwards. They need love, support, encouragement, and the space to do this, which is the opposite of the control and coercion inflicted on them by an alienating parent, intent only on creating an obedient mini-me, with imprinted thoughts and beliefs.
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