Learning you’re involved with a Narcissistic

Learning you’re involved with a narcissist quickly turns into an obsession that can destroy your life if left unchecked.

Take these common inquiries, for example:

Why does the narcissist lie, even when I have proof?

What will happen if I warn the new supply?

Why can’t the narcissist finally be a decent parent?

My narcissist hasn’t hoovered me, does that mean it’s over?

How can I make the narcissist obsessed with me?

…and so on.

It may not seem like it, but obsessing about the narcissist is a great way to avoid looking at your own internal wounds and subconscious motives.

What if, instead of obsessing about the narcissist, you began to obsess about yourself. Then, your questions might look like this:

Why do I feel that I can control other people’s thoughts and behaviors?

Why do I believe my unconditional forgiveness will improve things when it hasn’t made a difference so far?

Why do I want a future with someone who lies, cheats, and abuses on a regular basis?

Why do I still want this person to like me when I know I can’t even trust them?

How will remaining in this toxic relationship affect my children?

There are real risks involved when we don’t defeat the obsession we have with narcissists. They are not elusive super-stars who can be reached through some secret trick of the mind. They are not tortured souls who need a special kind of love and devotion. There is, literally, nothing you can do to change the narcissist or the relationship you have with them.

But, there are ways you can begin to improve your own life. And it starts by turning your focus onto why you want to maintain your relationship with a person who wouldn’t care if you were run over by a bus today. They won’t care if your entire family turns against you. They won’t care if you lose a loved one. They won’t care if you’re diagnosed with a terminal condition. They won’t care if you lose everything (and they will promptly leave when that happens).

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your precious life?

If not, make sure to grab your free Beginner’s Healing Roadmap here:

Your friend on the journey,

Kim Xo

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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