Learning you’re involved with a narcissist quickly turns into an obsession that can destroy your life if left unchecked.
Take these common inquiries, for example:
Why does the narcissist lie, even when I have proof?
What will happen if I warn the new supply?
Why can’t the narcissist finally be a decent parent?
My narcissist hasn’t hoovered me, does that mean it’s over?
How can I make the narcissist obsessed with me?
…and so on.
It may not seem like it, but obsessing about the narcissist is a great way to avoid looking at your own internal wounds and subconscious motives.
What if, instead of obsessing about the narcissist, you began to obsess about yourself. Then, your questions might look like this:
Why do I feel that I can control other people’s thoughts and behaviors?
Why do I believe my unconditional forgiveness will improve things when it hasn’t made a difference so far?
Why do I want a future with someone who lies, cheats, and abuses on a regular basis?
Why do I still want this person to like me when I know I can’t even trust them?
How will remaining in this toxic relationship affect my children?
There are real risks involved when we don’t defeat the obsession we have with narcissists. They are not elusive super-stars who can be reached through some secret trick of the mind. They are not tortured souls who need a special kind of love and devotion. There is, literally, nothing you can do to change the narcissist or the relationship you have with them.
But, there are ways you can begin to improve your own life. And it starts by turning your focus onto why you want to maintain your relationship with a person who wouldn’t care if you were run over by a bus today. They won’t care if your entire family turns against you. They won’t care if you lose a loved one. They won’t care if you’re diagnosed with a terminal condition. They won’t care if you lose everything (and they will promptly leave when that happens).
Is this how you want to spend the rest of your precious life?
If not, make sure to grab your free Beginner’s Healing Roadmap here:
Your friend on the journey,