This was very hard , as my care-taking self stepped up
as my job required .. I had to accept that I may have been
over zealous in mapping my blue print , or grand design .
I dodged as much as possible being responsible for home
hearth and children due to not having been trained nor
educated , and for making every effort to be in Spirit ,
while Shadow predominated … in my not knowing .
I have always been detailed , observing without judgement
but implanted with critics , mostly feminine especially
in silent rejection … I had to know why… While there are
revelations to come , I did the work necessary to release me
from self sabotage, after listening to those shadow situations
and my reaction to others , aware of their truths , it was easier
to let go of them…
A harsh lesson has evaporated as I refused participation in
a feminine driven force of such judgement , coincided with
my authentic self , finally ready to shine , along with a new
friendship that was blocked by interference so blatant
and vulgar in a sisterhood , I had no choice but to put
resting bitch mask on for thus catalyzing my self review
along with others input , especially the every ready former
along with so many forced relocations , I had no
choice , but to retreat … it’s been a very good thing .
I am expressing myself openly .. I am acknowledging
my 14 month younger brother has subconsciously
submitted to his partners abuse of over 40 years
as he admits stage 5 kidney failure .. His rage , fear
anger locked away in his kidneys, ever silenced by
feeling not enough , serving a love that abused him ,working
in an industry that’s highly toxic ..
Being the light as much as possible in the worlds , holding
the toxic , disregarding overtures to help , having no
time for God ..
He deserves to leave , here lighter.. his rage towards me
does not allow contact .
Knowing self , knowing dark from light , driven towards
the light was treated like black magic , control , then
mental illness .
I am aware of who I am.. that’s all I need know .
I am aware of a few of my missions .. I will be my brothers
voice .. in unity and love ❤️, that binds us beyond his rage .