You ever sit back and realize how much of yourself you’ve had to unlearn just to be okay? Like… the things you tolerated, the love you accepted, the people you gave your energy to—only to look back and go, “What the hell was I thinking?” Yeah. That part.
It’s wild how we’re taught to be loyal before we’re taught to be respected. We cling to people because we “love” them, or because we’ve known them forever, or because we thought they’d eventually grow up and love us back the way we needed. And we ignore the red flags, the gut feelings, the exhaustion in our spirit, because we’re hoping that love will be enough to change what we know ain’t right.
But here’s the thing: loyalty means nothing when it’s one-sided. Love doesn’t hit the same when you’re constantly questioning if you’re asking for too much… when all you’re really asking for is the bare minimum. Respect. Consistency. Effort. Communication that doesn’t feel like a damn interrogation scene from Law & Order.
I’ve learned that setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. It’s how you teach people to love you. And I don’t mean just saying “I don’t like this” once and letting them slide the next five times. I mean actually following through. Creating space. Protecting your peace like it’s your last piece of chocolate cake and everybody in the house got a sweet tooth.
Because here’s the truth: You can’t keep pouring into people who hand you an empty cup every time you need them. You can’t keep breaking yourself just to keep relationships that only survive off your silence. That’s not love. That’s emotional self-harm dressed up as devotion.
I used to think I had to be the “strong one.” The forgiving one. The understanding one. The one who holds it down no matter what. But baby, let me tell you… that version of me was tired. Drained. Ignored. And honestly? A little resentful.
Now? I choose me. Not in a selfish, “screw everybody” kind of way. But in a “I’m done shrinking myself to fit places that don’t see my value” kind of way. If my energy feels too loud for someone who only claps when it benefits them? Cool. They were never in tune with me to begin with.
I want deep, consistent, soul-safe connections. I want effort that doesn’t feel forced. I want friendships and relationships where I don’t have to explain my worth every time there’s a disagreement. I want peace that doesn’t come with conditions. And if that sounds like too much… I’m not the one.
Growth hurts. Healing isn’t cute. But it’s worth it. Because nothing—and I mean nothing—feels better than finally realizing that you are not too much. You were just too real for the wrong people.
So protect your heart. Respect your boundaries. And never let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing yourself after they showed you exactly why you had to.
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 