Initiation

If I gotta be masculine with you, if I constantly have to take the lead, initiate the tough conversations, carry the emotional weight, or be the one holding everything together all the time — then baby, you’re not the man for me. I don’t want to feel like I’m always in survival mode. I don’t want to feel like I have to shrink my femininity just to make a relationship work. That’s not love. That’s labor.

I want to rest in my softness. I want to breathe around my man. I want to feel protected, emotionally supported, and safe. I want to cry without being called “too sensitive.” I want to be vulnerable without it being used against me later. I want to be able to exhale, to let my guard down, to be the version of myself that doesn’t always have to “have it all together.”

I’m tired of being strong. I want to be soft with someone who’s strong for me — emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Because being strong is exhausting when you’re carrying the weight of two people. And I don’t want to wear both hats anymore.

If I have to do that with you, you’re not the man for me. I’m not looking to raise nobody’s son. I’m not building a man from scratch. I want someone who leads with love, not ego. Who handles things, not hides from them. Who makes me feel safe, not small.

Being my softest self isn’t a weakness — it’s a privilege I only give to someone who earns it. And if you can’t hold that version of me with care, you don’t get access to her at all.

Ctto

#fyp

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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