I completely understand how exasperating it is to deal with a narcissistic, alienating ex who’s manipulating everyone around them. It’s not just the grief of being separated from your child—it’s the sheer injustice of watching people fall for the charade while you’re left struggling to get anyone to see the truth. Narcissistic abuse is extremely difficult to cope with because these people are highly manipulative and incredibly skilled at twisting the narrative to make themselves look like the victim (when they’re not playing the hero).
Even when they’re not actively abusing you or undermining your role, they’re out there putting on a performance—telling everyone how selfless and devoted they are, how they would never do anything to harm the children. They know exactly how to play the part of the good parent, saying all the right things while you’re painted as the unreasonable, difficult one. It’s maddening because, deep down, you know what they’re really like, but every time you try to show it, they seem to be one step ahead, even making you look like you’re overreacting or being irrational.
I also know how hard/impossible it has been made to put the children first when you’re pushed to the sidelines and/or shut out of their lives. It’s not that you don’t want to be there or aren’t trying—sometimes, they’ve built up so many barriers that it feels impossible to stay connected or even be involved. And meanwhile, the alienator is the one controlling the narrative, telling everyone that you’re the problem, that you’re the one who doesn’t care. It’s hell, I truly understand. I’ve been there too.
The truth is, these alienating parents are always thinking about themselves—whether they’re badmouthing you to your child, tearing down your reputation, or just telling anyone who’ll listen what a wonderful parent they are, despite you – what martyrs! They never really stop being abusive; they just switch gears. When they’re not actively being selfish or controlling, they’re busy making sure everyone sees them as the opposite—calm, reasonable, and, of course, completely selfless. Enough to drive us mad! And they don’t mind that, at all.
I see you. I understand the pain and the frustration of watching someone who’s caused so much damage keep getting away with it. It’s not your fault. You’ve been fighting a battle where the rules keep changing, and the truth is constantly distorted to suit them. But the fact that you’re here, still holding on, reading these posts … says so much about your strength and love. Don’t ever doubt that.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#coercivecontrol
#narcissisticparent
#emotionalabuse
#traumabonding
#parentalalienation
#mothersmatter
#FathersMatterToo
#FathersMatter

