High Conflict – Charlie McCready

A wise and wonderful parent I’ve worked with made a very good point about the term ‘high conflict’, typically used to define divorces between a warring couple. In other words, we all get thrown in together, even though our character and behaviour might be polar opposites. One parent might be actively working towards a peaceful resolution, genuinely seeking an amicable resolution for the well-being of the children, and understanding the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship between both parents. The other is engaging in alienating behaviours, including provocation, false allegations, lies, withholding information, and limiting or blocking contact. ⁠

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Labelling both parents as ‘high conflict’ without discerning the underlying dynamics can be detrimental. It might unintentionally equate the legitimate concerns and actions of one parent with the manipulative behaviours of the other. It’s important for all involved who seek to be able to differentiate between legitimate conflict resolution efforts and manipulative tactics. It’s unhelpful to call both parents ‘high conflict’, and it is particularly lenient towards the alienating parent and less kind to the parent seeking a peaceful way forward. This labelling can create a false equivalency, perpetuating an environment where the true victim of alienation is treated as if they are equally responsible for the conflict. ⁠

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A more psychologically informed approach, understanding the underlying dynamics of parental alienation, and acknowledging the intricate emotional interplay between the child, alienating parent and targeted parent, could lead to a fairer assessment of the situation, potentially protecting the child from the harmful effects of alienation. This approach requires mental health professionals, legal experts, and all involved parties to recognise that alienation often stems from a complex web of psychological factors, including unresolved conflicts, emotional manipulation, and distorted perceptions. ⁠

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Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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