Withholding information is a manipulative and cruel tactic used by an alienating parent to create a sense of distance and indifference between the target parent and the children. I’ll give an example. In court, my ex challenged me to give one of my child’s A’level results to make me look uncaring and uninvolved. Unfortunately, this information had not been shared with me. Sadly. I had, many times, tried to find out. I was financially supportive and wanted to be supportive in other ways too. No information would have been forthcoming from my ex, but my daughter didn’t tell me either. This sometimes continues today due to so many years of aiming to punish me by not including me in their lives. At this point, I’m glad to say it’s more habitual, and we’ve got through the worst of the alienation. But by deliberately withholding significant things such as moving house, school results, buying a dog, travelling, illness, celebrations, mishaps, and any important events, whether this is directly from the children themselves or from the alienating parent, the aim is to make the target parent appear uncaring and disengaged. It is, as I said earlier, also to punish them. It is a form of triangulation. That is to ‘divide and conquer’ and control communication. It causes emotional distress to those involved. We are deprived of the opportunity to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. It perpetuates the cycle of alienation and deepens the emotional trauma experienced by all involved parties, making reconciliation and healing more challenging. But it doesn’t have to last forever. It doesn’t have to be like this. The alienating parent will often be seen in their true colours when the children mature when they start asking questions, and in many other instances.
#charliemccready
#parentalalienationcoach
#childpsychologicalabuse
#coercivecontrol
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