After you die

AFTER YOU DIE

Just so you know

after you die

I will not wonder

why you didn’t do

your dishes or

how long it’s been

since you

cleaned your

oven or microwave or

mopped your floors

or why there were

dust bunnies under

the bed and

behind the door

After you’re gone

I will not wonder

how you could

have allowed the

piles of old mail to

accumulate or

why you saved so

many bits and pieces

of this and that or

why you weren’t

more goal-oriented and

well-organized or

why your refrigerator

contained so many

expired condiments

When you are

absent from all your

familiar places

I vow to avoid wondering

why you didn’t

eat less and

exercise more or

why you waited so

long to stop smoking

or drinking or

whatever else was

simultaneously

soothing and

deadly or

why you took

whatever risk may

seem to have hastened

your exit or why

you left so much unsaid

unfinished or

unresolved

I will only wonder

if you knew how much

you mattered to me

just as you are

as you were when we

met in our temporary

human disguises and

laughed in the

dressing room of the

world at how funkily

our skin suits fit

at times

I will wonder and

hope you knew

you were beloved

I will wonder when

we last hugged

and whether you

felt how our

heartbeats

converged

and our bellies

bumped like boats

and then we

both sighed

Marva Lee Weigelt

#afteryoudie

_______________________

Image: The Hug | Salvatore Spucches

Unknown's avatar

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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