Hold the mother

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣⁣

fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣⁣

by not only the mother,⁣⁣

but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

But the mother,⁣⁣

may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣⁣

may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣⁣

may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣⁣

may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣⁣

may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, “she’s not good enough,”⁣⁣

and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

And the mother’s that baby’s whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn’t disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣⁣

But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣⁣

in the background, making it all happen:⁣⁣

feeding her baby at all hours,⁣⁣

snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣⁣

and being that baby’s everything.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣⁣

⁣⁣

So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣⁣

try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣⁣

Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣⁣

✍️: Living FULL

📸: Unknown Artist

Unknown's avatar

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

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