We should talk about disorganized attachment, because that’s what’s here.
In terms of the attachment pathology in the family courts, it’s a disorganized attachment… the child displays no organized strategy develop a secure attachment bond to the parent.
All the chaos that surrounds the families in the family courts is the result of a disorganized attachment. It’s pretty obvious once you start using the word “disorganized” to describe the child’s emotions and behavior… the child has no organized strategy to form a secure attachment to the parent.
It’s going to get complex as we start to examine the attachment pathology – because – it’s a false attachment pathology. It’s not real, so the child is not showing a standard attachment pathology that’s authentic.
The disorganized attachment is with the allied narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent. They create a disorganized attachment bond to the targeted parent through pathogenic parenting of psychological control (Barber) and manipulation of the child.
When we analyze the attachment behaviors of the child, the child displays a secure attachment bond to the targeted parent (the child is venturing away in exploratory behavior), and the child has an insecure attachment to the allied parent (the child is remaining in close proximity for protection).
But then the child also displays a disorganized attachment toward the targeted parent – the child seemingly has a secure-disorganized attachment. No, that’s just bizarre. This is not normal, this is not realistic, this is an artificially created attached pathology.
What is a disorganized attachment. What kind of parenting causes a disorganized attachment?
Frightened and frightening parenting.
Let’s start with the big-wigs, Aaron Beck and Karlen Lyons-Ruth. In the pantheon of grand-high kahunas, there’s Bowlby, Ainsworth, Stern, Tronick, and Lyons-Ruth all together in a bunch.
Aaron Beck, the grand-high kahuna of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT; Beck is the C part of CBT), orients us to where we are.
From Beck et al: “Various studies have found that patients with BPD [borderline personality disorder] are characterized by disorganized attachment representations (Fonagy et al., 1996; Patrick et al, 1994). Such attachment representations appear to be typical for persons with unresolved childhood traumas, especially when parental figures were involved, with direct, frightening behavior by the parent. Disorganized attachment is considered to result from an unresolvable situation for the child when “the parent is at the same time the source of fright as well as the potential haven of safety” (van IJzendoorn, Schuengel, & Bakermans-Kranburg, 1999, p. 226). (Beck et al, 2004, 191)
Key takeaway: disorganized attachment is caused by frightened and frightening parental behavior as the result of unresolved parental trauma.
Now let’s turn to Lyons-Ruth for the next step into the causes of disorganized attachment.
From Lyons-Ruth, Bronfman, & Parsons: “The issues of whether and how mother-infant interactive processes are related to disorganization of infant attachment patterns gains additional importance from recent findings that early disorganized or controlling attachment strategies are related to oppositional or hostile-aggressive behaviors up to age 7 (Lyons-Ruth, Alpern, & Repacholi, 1993; Lyons- Ruth, Easterbrooks, & Cibelli, 1997; Shaw, Keenan, Owens, Winslow, Hood, & Garcia, 1995; see Lyons-Ruth, 1996, for review). Additional work has related disorganized or controlling attachment patterns during preschool to concurrent oppositional or externalizing behavior (Greenberg, Speltz, DeKlyen & Endriga, 1993; Moss et al., 1996, 1998; Solomon, George, & DeJong, 1995; Speltz, Greenberg, & DeKlyen, 1990). Others have described the coercive cycles observed between oppositional preschoolers and their mothers by the time of clinic referral (Campbell, 1991; Patterson, 1982).” (p. 67-68)
Key takeaway: disorganized attachment develops within “coercive cycles” leading to angry, oppositional, and defiant behavior displays by the child.
Why? Turning again to Lyons-Ruth…
From Lyons-Ruth, Bronfman, & Parsons: “The major theory-based hypothesis that has been advanced regarding mother-child interactive processes among infants with disorganized attachment strategies is Main and Hesse’s (1990) formulation regarding frightened and frightening parenting. According to Main and Hesse, “the traumatized adult’s continuing state of fear together with its interactional/ behavioral concomitants (frightened and or frightening behavior) is the mechanism linking unresolved trauma to the infant’s display of disorganized/disoriented behaviors” (p. 163).
Key takeaway: The pathogenic parenting behaviors (creating a pathology in the child) originate in the unresolved trauma of the parent.
Are there patterns to the types of parenting that then creates types of disorganized attachment?
From Lyons-Ruth, Bronfman, & Parsons: “In the first pattern, infants displaying disorganized forms of avoidance are more likely to have mothers who exhibit negative-intrusive and role-confused behavior. In the second pattern, infants who display disorganized forms of proximity seeking, forms that may include resistant behavior, are more likely to have mothers who display elevated rates of affective communication errors. In the third pattern, infants who display disorganized forms of mixed avoidance and resistance are more likely to have mothers who exhibit disoriented behavior at high levels. Finally, infants who show disorganized behaviors alone, without associated avoidance, resistance, or proximity-seeking (e.g., dazed wandering, putting head down on the floor) are more likely to have withdrawing mothers.”
Types of parenting: frightened and frightening, negative-intrusive, role-confused, affective miscommunication errors, disoriented behaviors, withdrawn – depending on the child display.
In the family courts, the child’s attachment display makes no sense – because – it’s not real, it’s an artificially created attachment pathology. We’ve reached the phase past family systems and shared delusions, past narcissistic-borderline-dark personalities, past complex trauma and child abuse… we’ve reached the attachment system.
I can make the diagnosis based on the child’s attachment display alone – it’s not authentic to real attachment pathology. It’s a disorganized attachment displayed by a child… toward a normal-range parent.
That’s not possible – because – it’s not the targeted parent who’s causing the child’s attachment pathology, it’s the allied parent. The disorganized attachment is with the allied parent who is imposing their attachment pathology onto the child – a Factitious Disorder – a false (factitious) attachment pathology – Imposed on Another – imposed on the child for secondary gain to the pathological parent.
We’ll talk more in the days ahead about the attachment system and attachment pathology – this is a false (factitious) attachment pathology. The child’s disorganized attachment to the targeted parent is being artificially created.
There are lots and lots of ways to tell… if… you know what you’re doing. If you’re ignorant like a rock, then everything looks “complex”. It’s not complex, it’s simple, and they’re immensely ignorant mental health people.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

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