“What you allow is what will continue.”
I find this quote to be so powerful. Whether you realize it or not, you have control over how others treat you and what behaviors you tolerate. When someone mistreats you, you must reject that behavior.
But, how do you set boundaries with someone who enjoys trampling boundaries and being extra about it?
It can look like the following examples:
1 – Instead of joining them in their drama, refuse to engage. When they say something to push your buttons, exit the room or leave the house completely. Don’t keep buying tickets to their circus.
2 – If they continue to be unfaithful, find ways to save money so you can work on your exit plan. If you depend on them financially, visit a local organization for domestic violence or social services and find out what they offer. Find ways to depend on yourself, even if it takes a while – this might include applying for financial assistance until you can get on your feet.
3 – Stop falling for their hoovers. You can’t heal or move forward while you’re falling for hoovers. It helps to realize that they haven’t changed or started to regret their choices while they’ve been apart from you. They’ve been doing all the things that caused a breakup in the first place…but they’ll certainly be good at lying about it.
4 – If they’ve been unfaithful, stop being intimate with them. Not only does it give them the impression that you somehow tolerate this betrayal, but you put yourself at risk of contracting something from them – not to mention the muddy energies you take on from all their affair partners.
5 – Believe them when they show you who they are. Don’t fall for fake remorse or give into the fantasy that they’re the love of your life. True love doesn’t hurt…and it doesn’t repeatedly lie or cheat.
The link in my bio will take you to solutions that really work:
You’ll find free tools, information, advice, and healing programs designed to empower you to take control of your life and stop wasting your precious time.