It’s an embarrassing confession, but for a certain group among us, it’s fair to say that a great deal of our lives is spent asking essentially the same question, week after week, always with the same blend of frustration, despair and puzzlement: Why am I so lonely?
Why, in other words, do I so often find myself at odds in social groups, why can’t I more easily connect with people, why do I not have more friends worthy of the name?
Edward Matthew Ward, Byron’s Early Love, ‘A Dream of Annesley Hall’, c. 1856, Manchester Art Gallery
It’s tempting to jump to the darkest conclusion: because I am awful, because there is something wrong with me, because I deserve to be hated.
But the real answer is likely to be far less punitive and in its way far more logical: we, the isolated members of the tribe, are lonely for a very firm and forgivable reason: because we are interested in introspection, and they – the others — for all their intelligence and wit and strength of mind, are not.
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I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse.
As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my
desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven.
I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are
denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child.
I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power..
I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination..
Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative".
It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..
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